{"id":183346,"date":"2017-03-27T18:37:37","date_gmt":"2017-03-27T18:37:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.meydan.tv\/article\/being-lesbian-in-azerbaijan\/"},"modified":"2021-10-29T13:57:10","modified_gmt":"2021-10-29T09:57:10","slug":"being-lesbian-in-azerbaijan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.meydan.tv\/en\/article\/being-lesbian-in-azerbaijan\/","title":{"rendered":"Being Lesbian in Azerbaijan"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\n This story was originally published in Russian on
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\n JAMnews
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\n The following are the stories of three girls trying to adapt in Azerbaijan’s homophobic society:
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\n Nigyar
\n <\/b>\n<\/p>\n

\n Nigyar didn\u2019t spare time or effort for a meeting with me: we met in a crowded caf\u00e9 in a shopping\u00a0center on an unusually snowy day for Baku.\n<\/p>\n

\n She is short, stocky, and brusque in her movements, like an adolescent. But her well-kept hair and precise makeup reveal a girl carefully looking after her external appearance. She is embarrassed and avoids making eye contact during our conversation. Her answers are fairly short and reserved, but at the same time, she doesn\u2019t decline to give her real name, or where she studies: \u201cNo problem!\u201d She has an open profile on Facebook with her real name and surname.\n<\/p>\n

\n Looking at her, I suddenly remember a story that I saw on a local TV channel several years ago.\n<\/p>\n

\n Journalists interviewed a lesbian girl at her home. I\u2019ve forgotten the questions and answers, only the picture remains: how she awkwardly tried to hide behind the curtain of her hair, how she looked out from under her brow, how she gave short, sullen answers.\n<\/p>\n

\n The girl I\u2019m talking with, Nigyar, is not at all inclined to hide things. Her short answers are not a result of caution, but of the fact that she has a light-hearted outlook on some things.\n<\/p>\n

\n Nigyar is 19 years old. She is a second-year student studying translation at Odlar Yurdu University. Those close to her \u2013 her cousins and some classmates \u2013 know of her sexual orientation.\n<\/p>\n

\n \u201cEveryone treats it as something normal\u201d, she answers confidently.\n<\/p>\n

\n Nigyar understood early in life \u2013 at the age of eight \u2013 that she is attracted to girls.\n<\/p>\n

\n \u201cWhen I saw scenes with kissing in films, I noticed that I like the girls more\u201d. She had her first girlfriend as a 12 year-old: \u201cWe met online, in a chat room. She was 18. We talked on the phone often, she would come by to pick me up. I missed all of May in seventh grade because I was seeing her, we would spend almost the entire day together. There probably wasn\u2019t any special love between us, just attraction. My mother suspected something and drummed up a scandal. In the end, the whole school found out. It\u2019s understandable that nobody accepted this, I lost all my friends\u201d.\n<\/p>\n

\n It was then that Nigyar made her first attempt at coming out: she tried to tell her mother that she likes girls more. \u201cClearly she didn\u2019t really understand this,\u201d she says, \u201cThis conversation was later forgotten\u201d.\n<\/p>\n

\n Nigyar wasn\u2019t in any way frightened by understanding herself: \u201cFrom the age of twelve I began to read online about homosexual relationships, I learned all about them. Things weren\u2019t strange or bad for me.\n<\/p>\n

\n And indeed, she doesn\u2019t consider herself a \u2018minority\u2019: \u201cI think that the conception of oneself as \u2018abnormal\u2019 comes in large part from the family, and in my family I\u2019m not pressured because they don\u2019t know anything.\u201d\n<\/p>\n

\n According to Nigyar, this bothers her: \u201cI would like to not hide. And indeed, I\u2019m planning to come out after school, but things would be easier for me if my mother knew that I am a lesbian\u201d.\n<\/p>\n

\n Nigyar says her mother reacts aggressively to anything related to homosexuality.\n<\/p>\n

\n \u201cIf she sees on TV that a homosexual was beaten or killed, she enthusiastically approves of this, saying \u2018I would also kill them!\u2019 I think that if she finds out about my orientation, she\u2019ll disown me.”\n<\/p>\n

\n It\u2019s entirely possible the mother knows that \u2018something\u2019s off\u2019 with her daughter: \u201cShe diligently takes care that I don\u2019t socialize with girls, but at the same time has nothing against me interacting with guys.\u201d\n<\/p>\n

\n And Nigyar really did try to have relationships with guys: \u201cOur neighbor, who lived in England, came here recently for his brother\u2019s engagement. We began to write back and forth, to talk and see one another for about a month, but nothing came of this, it didn\u2019t work out. I would go out with him, and look at the girls walking by. Even then he didn\u2019t get it\u201d.\n<\/p>\n

\n \u201cWhere do you meet girls?\u201d I ask Nigyar. \u201cPrimarily online,\u201d she says, unconcerned. \u201cBut the relationships don\u2019t always go far. Sometimes it\u2019s just a kiss. Now I\u2019m single. My last relationship lasted seven months, the longest, and ended two years ago. I love this girl to this day. But she doesn\u2019t want to make up\u201d.\n<\/p>\n

\n Today, there are often bisexual people in her social circle, which consists of guys and girls older than her, 25-26 years-old. But the \u2018Facebook community\u2019 doesn\u2019t always appeal to her: \u201cGirls there sleep with whoever, take drugs, and I find this repugnant\u201d.\n<\/p>\n

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\n Narmina
\n <\/b>\n<\/p>\n

\n In contrast to Nigyar, Narmina has encountered discrimination and unfair treatment in society on multiple occasions.\n<\/p>\n

\n \u201cI was part of the Young Students\u2019 Organization at college. One of my close acquaintances was also part of it. Rumors spread that she was in a relationship with me. The girl wanted to run for chairperson of the organization, but the rumors reached the teachers as well. They wouldn\u2019t permit her to become chairperson, arguing that, \u2018We won\u2019t allow for some lesbian to become chairperson here\u2019.\n<\/p>\n

\n But she wasn\u2019t a lesbian.\n<\/p>\n

\n “I didn\u2019t wait for them to chase me from the organization, I left of my own accord. They didn\u2019t even want to listen to me when I tried to explain that my friend was not a lesbian.\n<\/p>\n

\n They found out about my orientation at the college. My relations with everyone came to an end, everyone talked about me behind my back and laughed at me to my face.\n<\/p>\n

\n After this, at college, many guys wouldn\u2019t allow their girlfriends to associate with me. Now I\u2019m working. If they find out here, they\u2019ll fire me: 90% of the people working here are homophobes\u201d.\n<\/p>\n

\n When someone is fired, they rarely write the real reason in a person\u2019s employment record booklet. More often than not, they think up a reason. Although by law this can be contested, Narmina doesn\u2019t want personal problems.\n<\/p>\n

\n \u201cIf they find out at work, I\u2019ll leave on my own, I\u2019m not going to fight\u201d.\n<\/p>\n

\n Now the director periodically calls Narmina to his office and asks, \u2018Do you have gay acquaintances?\u2019\n<\/p>\n

\n \u201cHe\u2019s friends with me on Facebook, sees my publications and comments defending the LGBT community. He doesn\u2019t directly accuse me of being a lesbian, and apparently thinks that I am just a humanist and on the side of homosexuals. He brings me to his office and sometimes talks with me, wanting to deter me from dangerous thoughts\u201d, Carmina says.\n<\/p>\n

\n In Narmina\u2019s family they don\u2019t know that she is lesbian.\n<\/p>\n

\n \u201cMy parents are religious, they would never accept this. I remember my mother saying something like, \u2018Better to die than to find out that one of your children is gay.\u2019 Because of this, I stay quiet, I don\u2019t think about the future, I\u2019d just like to get through the present day\u201d.\n<\/p>\n

\n Narmina is very devoted to her mother.\n<\/p>\n

\n \u201cThere were many times I wanted to tell her, \u2018Mom, your beloved daughter was close to suicide.\u2019\u201d\n<\/p>\n

\n Although Narmina isn\u2019t materially dependent on her family, her attachment to her mother prevents her from leaving for a more \u2018tolerant\u2019 country.\n<\/p>\n

\n Narmina went to a psychologist who was recommended to her: his patients supposedly include more than a few celebrities, and he graduated from Moscow State University. During the counseling process, the \u2018psychologist\u2019 began to make advances on Narmina.\n<\/p>\n

\n \u201cHe assured me that he would arouse an interest in men in me. He said that he wouldn\u2019t even take my virginity. It\u2019s good that I didn\u2019t meet with him in person, we just wrote back and forth; he\u2019d planned for me to pay \u2018in kind\u2019 for the counseling\u201d.\n<\/p>\n

\n
\n Dinara
\n <\/b>\n<\/p>\n

\n Dinara describes herself as ‘butch’. In local terminology, butch girls are lesbians with masculine bearing and behavior. She has a short haircut and mostly wears athletic clothing.\n<\/p>\n

\n On the whole she is one of those people whose orientation is \u2018written on her forehead\u2019.\u00a0In her family, Dinara was supported by her father, which is atypical for Azerbaijani men.\n<\/p>\n

\n \u201cMy mother, on the other hand, is very aggressive and says offensive things to me. She says that I will bring misfortune to girls\u201d.\n<\/p>\n

\n Her mother forced her to break up with a girl she was in love with.\n<\/p>\n

\n \u201cShe caught me when I was talking with her on the phone, took away the phone, cursed me out and beat me. Then she invited that girl over for a talk. As a result, she lost interest in me, and one fine day I received an invitation to her wedding\u201d.\n<\/p>\n

\n \u201cEven though I\u2019m an \u2018issue\u2019, although I\u2019m butch, I am a Muslim, I observe oruj (fasting). Many people say to me, \u2018Why are you fasting, it doesn\u2019t count, you\u2019re leading a lifestyle that is displeasing to God.\u2019 Maybe I am sinning, but I try to fast and do good deeds so that Allah will forgive me my sins. Not long ago, one person said to me that I am shaytan (the devil). You wouldn\u2019t believe it, I was so offended\u201d.\n<\/p>\n

\n Perhaps because of her age (she is seventeen) Dinara believes that the LGBT community is very harmed by \u2018unrestricted passion\u2019. She believes that if lesbian girls weren\u2019t so temperamental, didn\u2019t show their feelings in public, if there was more pure love, attitudes towards them would be better.\n<\/p>\n

\n Now she has a girlfriend with whom she has been in a relationship for four years now.\n<\/p>\n

\n \u201cThey try not to let us see each other, socialize, they impede us however they can. But we love each other a lot. I\u2019m waiting for when we turn 18, so that I can leave here with her. She\u2019s only sixteen. I\u2019ll have to keep quiet for her sake\u201d.\n<\/p>\n

\n According to data from the yearly ILGA-Europe ranking, Azerbaijan is the most intolerant of all Europe. There are several reasons for this:\n<\/p>\n

\n 1. A lack of laws protecting LGBT people;\n<\/p>\n

\n 2. A lack of shelters for victims of domestic violence;\n<\/p>\n

\n 3. Crimes are committed because of intolerance towards LGBT people;\n<\/p>\n

\n 4. Government representatives voice intolerance towards LGBT people without any consequences for their careers.\n<\/p>\n

\n It\u2019s very hard to find any sort of statistics on the LGBT community in Azerbaijan. Official statistics are not kept. The police do not put crimes against LGBT people in some sort of separate category. The only sources for more or less large-scale research are gay groups on social networks (with around 3000 members, as a rule) and the only Azerbaijani gay site, gay.az, where 1414 users are registered.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Nigyar understood early in life \u2013 at the age of eight \u2013 that she is attracted to other girls.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":81360,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_sitemap_exclude":false,"_sitemap_priority":"","_sitemap_frequency":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[37],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-183346","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news","infinite-scroll-item","generate-columns","tablet-grid-50","mobile-grid-100","grid-parent","grid-33","no-featured-image-padding"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nBeing Lesbian in Azerbaijan - MEYDAN.TV<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.meydan.tv\/en\/article\/being-lesbian-in-azerbaijan\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Being Lesbian in Azerbaijan - 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