\n O q\u0131z nec\u0259 olsa ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7ar\u0259sini tapacaqd\u0131, bu yaz\u0131da s\u00f6hb\u0259t baytar ixtisasl\u0131 adi t\u0259s\u0259rr\u00fcfat ba\u015f\u00e7\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n m\u00fctali\u0259 sevgisind\u0259n, s\u00f6z\u0259, yarad\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011fa verdiyi d\u0259y\u0259rd\u0259n gedir. Kitabxanalar\u0131 ya\u011fmalay\u0131b yerind\u0259 c\u00fcrb\u0259c\u00fcr alver yuvas\u0131 a\u00e7an y\u00fcks\u0259k s\u0259lahiyy\u0259tli m\u00fcasir m\u0259murlardan f\u0259rqli olaraq. Ki, h\u0259min kitabs\u0131zlar\u0131n hans\u0131n\u0131 qald\u0131rsan alt\u0131ndan \u201cf\u0259ls\u0259f\u0259 doktoru\u201dndan tutmu\u015f federasiya prezidentlikl\u0259rin\u0259, \u00f6z\u0259l t\u0259yyar\u0259l\u0259r\u0259-zada q\u0259d\u0259r n\u0259 des\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xar…\n<\/p>\n
\n ***\n<\/p>\n
\n U\u015faql\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n v\u0259 g\u0259ncliyimin silinm\u0259z xatir\u0259l\u0259ri il\u0259 dolu h\u0259min d\u00f6vr\u0259 qay\u0131tmaqla soveti yax\u015f\u0131lamaq kimi bir m\u0259qs\u0259dim yoxdur. Sad\u0259c\u0259 iliyim\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m durumlarla ba\u011fl\u0131 istisna f\u0259rdl\u0259rin v\u0259t\u0259nda\u015fa yana\u015fma t\u0259rzl\u0259rini xat\u0131rlad\u0131m. Yoxsa ki, rejiml\u0259ri t\u0259hlil etm\u0259y\u0259 n\u0259 g\u00fcc\u00fcm, n\u0259 h\u0259v\u0259sim var.\n<\/p>\n
\n …X\u0131rda-para d\u00f6rd k\u0259ndi o vaxt\u0131n \u00f6lk\u0259d\u0259 m\u0259\u015fhur \u201cMi\u00e7urun\u201d kolxozundan ay\u0131r\u0131b \u201cXalqlar Dostlu\u011fu\u201d d\u00fcz\u0259ltdil\u0259r. Onda x\u00fcsusi fikir verm\u0259diyim bu ada indi n\u0259s\u0259 k\u00f6vr\u0259k bir g\u00fclm\u0259k tutdu m\u0259ni. Y\u0259ni, o \u201cMi\u00e7urin\u201d kolxozu \u0259slind\u0259 o k\u0259ndl\u0259rin z\u0259hm\u0259tke\u015f adamlar\u0131n\u0131n hesab\u0131na m\u0259\u015fhur olmu\u015fdu. Uzun-uzun ill\u0259rd\u0259n sonra yetim k\u0259ndl\u0259ri varl\u0131 \u201cata oca\u011f\u0131ndan\u201d ay\u0131rmaq \u201cgedin dostlar, ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n \u00e7ar\u0259sin\u0259 bax\u0131n\u201d dem\u0259k idi. Daimi r\u0259hb\u0259rlik \u201cMi\u00e7urin\u201dd\u0259 qald\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan k\u00f6rp\u0259 \u201cXalqlar Dostlu\u011fu\u201d kolxozuna rayondan t\u0259z\u0259 s\u0259dr g\u00f6nd\u0259rildi. D\u00f6rd k\u0259ndin magistrala yax\u0131n olan\u0131nda istismar m\u00fcdd\u0259ti bitmi\u015f ictimai daxman\u0131 \u201cidar\u0259\u201d adland\u0131r\u0131b t\u0259z\u0259 s\u0259dr\u0259 \u201ckabinet\u201d t\u0259\u015fkil etdil\u0259r.\n<\/p>\n
\n O s\u0259drin o kabinet\u0259 girib-\u00e7\u0131xma\u011fa vaxt\u0131 olmasa da, h\u0259r ehtimala qar\u015f\u0131 idar\u0259nin qaba\u011f\u0131 s\u0259h\u0259r-ax\u015fam t\u00fcnl\u00fck olard\u0131. B\u00f6y\u00fck kolxozun ulduz s\u0259drin\u0259 \u0259li \u00e7atmayan z\u0259hm\u0259tke\u015fl\u0259r, n\u0259hay\u0259t, paylar\u0131na d\u00fc\u015f\u0259n \u015f\u0259riksiz s\u0259drin dad\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0131xartmaq ist\u0259yirdil\u0259r. G\u00fcn\u00fc fermada, tarlalarda ke\u00e7\u0259n adam is\u0259 s\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259n-ax\u015famacan d\u00f6rd t\u0259r\u0259fi dolan\u0131b da\u011f\u0131n\u0131q t\u0259s\u0259rr\u00fcfat\u0131 c\u0259ml\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131.\n<\/p>\n
\n Heyvandarl\u0131q m\u00fct\u0259x\u0259ssisi olan s\u0259dr\u0259 \u201c\u00dczeyir doxtur\u201d dey\u0259 m\u00fcraci\u0259t olunurdu. Daim ac\u0131ql\u0131, h\u0259dsiz t\u0259l\u0259bkar oldu\u011fu bar\u0259d\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131lar. \u00dcst\u0259g\u0259l x\u0259b\u0259r\u00e7ilik, yaltaql\u0131q kimi xidm\u0259tl\u0259ri yerind\u0259c\u0259 susdurmas\u0131 tezlikl\u0259 ona \u201ck\u00f6nt\u00f6y\u201d ayamas\u0131 da qazand\u0131rd\u0131.\n<\/p>\n
\n O ill\u0259rd\u0259 az-\u00e7ox \u015feirl\u0259rim m\u0259tbuatda d\u0259rc olunurdu. Felyeton, hekay\u0259-flan da yaz\u0131rd\u0131m. Diplom h\u0259v\u0259slisi olmasam da, anam\u0131 sevindirm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn universitet\u0259 s\u0259n\u0259d haz\u0131rlay\u0131rd\u0131m. Sovet sistemin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 qiyabi t\u0259hsil almaq ist\u0259y\u0259n h\u0259r k\u0259sd\u0259n i\u015f staj\u0131 t\u0259l\u0259b olunurdu. Atamdan sonra yaranan ehtiyaclar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 qar\u015f\u0131lamaq da vard\u0131, staj m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259si d\u0259 \u0259m\u0259l\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259n sonra kolxozun t\u00fct\u00fcn istixanas\u0131nada i\u015fl\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131m. Anamla kolxoz i\u015fin\u0259 art\u0131q \u0259r\u0259 getmi\u015f b\u00f6y\u00fck bac\u0131lar\u0131m getmi\u015fdil\u0259r dey\u0259 m\u0259n evd\u0259 kitab-d\u0259ft\u0259rl\u0259 qurdalanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Ayr\u0131 d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcy\u00fcm tay-tu\u015flar\u0131m \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn g\u00fcnd\u0259lik y\u00fcng\u00fcl m\u0259\u015f\u011fuliyy\u0259t\u0259 \u00e7evrilmi\u015f \u00e7\u00f6l i\u015fi m\u0259nd\u0259n \u00f6tr\u00fc t\u0259svir\u0259g\u0259lm\u0259z h\u0259y\u0259can v\u0259 m\u0259suliyy\u0259t idi. Onlar\u0131n yar\u0131m saata g\u00f6rd\u00fckl\u0259ri i\u015fi m\u0259n quyularda islanm\u0131\u015f paltarlar\u0131m\u0131 s\u00fcr\u00fcy\u0259r\u0259k nahara q\u0259d\u0259r ancaq bitir\u0259 bilirdim. Bu azm\u0131\u015f kimi vaxtil\u0259 atam\u0131n b\u0259zi i\u015fl\u0259r\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 \u00fcz verm\u0259diyi qohum briqadir m\u0259ni g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00e7\u0131xd\u0131ya salm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Enli l\u0259kl\u0259rd\u0259 c\u00fcc\u0259rmi\u015f \u015fitill\u0259rin az qala h\u0259r birini ayr\u0131-ayr\u0131 b\u0259sl\u0259s\u0259m d\u0259, adam h\u0259r f\u00fcrs\u0259td\u0259 atas\u0131z m\u0259ni g\u00f6yn\u0259tm\u0259kd\u0259n h\u0259zz al\u0131rd\u0131. B\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcn\u00fc \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc birt\u0259h\u0259r ovudurdum ki, alma ba\u011f\u0131ndak\u0131 q\u0259bir\u0259 b\u0259nz\u0259y\u0259n o l\u0259kl\u0259rin aras\u0131nda h\u00f6nk\u00fcr\u00fcb a\u011flamay\u0131m.\n<\/p>\n
\n Bir g\u00fcn i\u015f\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 q\u0131zlar\u0131n ciddi-c\u0259hdl\u0259 \u00f6zl\u0259rini v\u0259 l\u0259kl\u0259rini s\u0259liq\u0259y\u0259 salq\u0131qlar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcb t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259ndim. Normalda m\u0259nim kimi \u00e7\u00fcr\u00fcy\u00fcn\u0259 getm\u0259yib i\u015f\u0259 s\u0259rb\u0259st, h\u0259tta zarafatyana yana\u015fard\u0131lar. Salamdan sonra i\u015fimiz\u0259 baxmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn s\u0259drin g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259yini m\u0259n\u0259 d\u0259 x\u0259b\u0259r verdil\u0259r. G\u0259rginlikd\u0259n \u00fcr\u0259yim \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131n\u0131rd\u0131. S\u0259drin q\u0259z\u0259bin\u0259 tu\u015f g\u0259ls\u0259ydim, h\u0259r \u015feyi at\u0131b getm\u0259liydimmi?\n<\/p>\n
\n B\u0259s o q\u0259d\u0259r \u0259ziyy\u0259tli g\u00fcnl\u0259r, universitet aray\u0131\u015f\u0131? Yar\u0131 \u00f6z\u00fcm boyda sus\u0259p\u0259ni al\u0131b h\u0259r ehtimala qar\u015f\u0131 l\u0259kl\u0259ri sulama\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131m. Bir azdan enli yubkam\u0131n \u0259t\u0259kl\u0259rind\u0259n pal\u00e7\u0131ql\u0131 su dam\u0131rd\u0131.\n<\/p>\n
\n S\u00f6vq-t\u0259bii q\u0131zlara baxd\u0131m. \u018fyin-ba\u015flar\u0131 qup-quru idi. Onlar kimi ola bilm\u0259diyimin \u0259zab\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0259kdiyim anlarda cantaraq bir ki\u015fi briqadirl\u0259 m\u0259nim l\u0259kl\u0259rim\u0259 yaxnla\u015fd\u0131. N\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc, n\u0259 \u0259limd\u0259ki dolu sus\u0259p\u0259ni qoyma\u011fa yer tapmad\u0131m. Klassik \u0259d\u0259biyyat\u0131n iddias\u0131z personajlar\u0131na b\u0259nz\u0259y\u0259n n\u0259h\u0259ng ki\u015fi z\u0259hmli bax\u0131\u015flarla m\u0259ni v\u0259 sulanm\u0131\u015f \u015fitill\u0259ri s\u00fcz\u00fcb briqadird\u0259n kimliyimi soru\u015fdu. Briqadir m\u00fctl\u0259q bir x\u0259ta olaca\u011f\u0131na \u0259minlikl\u0259 \u201ckimlik bilgil\u0259rimi\u201d sevinc\u0259k \u00e7atd\u0131ran kimi adam \u0259limd\u0259ki a\u011f\u0131r sus\u0259p\u0259ni qal\u0131n otlu\u011fa tullay\u0131b yum\u015faq t\u0259rzd\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 s\u0259sl\u0259ndi:\n<\/p>\n
\n \u2013 Dem\u0259li, o \u015feirl\u0259rin m\u00fc\u0259llifi s\u0259ns\u0259n… B\u0259s s\u0259nin burda n\u0259 i\u015fin var, q\u0131z\u0131m? S\u0259n g\u0259r\u0259k evd\u0259 yarad\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131nla m\u0259\u015f\u011ful olasan, staj kimi m\u0259nas\u0131z \u015feyl\u0259ri M\u0259h\u0259mm\u0259d ki\u015fi yazar…\n<\/p>\n
\n Daha istixanaya getm\u0259dim. Qalan aylar\u0131m\u0131n haqq\u0131n\u0131 v\u0259 orda i\u015fl\u0259m\u0259yim bar\u0259d\u0259 aray\u0131\u015f\u0131 g\u0259tirib evimizd\u0259 verdil\u0259r. Staj\u0131m h\u0259r ehtimala qar\u015f\u0131 art\u0131q yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. R\u0259hm\u0259tlik \u00dczeyir doxturla ill\u0259r sonra birc\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 yatd\u0131\u011f\u0131 x\u0259st\u0259xanada g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fd\u00fck. Rejimsizlik, normal qidalanmamaq, g\u0259rginlik da\u011f boyda adam\u0131 x\u0259staxana \u00e7arpay\u0131s\u0131na y\u0131xsa da, \u00f6tk\u0259mliyini saxlam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Balaca dolab\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259ki kitablara bax\u0131b g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259di:\n<\/p>\n
\n \u2013 Hay\u0131f ki, m\u0259n s\u0259nin kitablar\u0131n\u0131 oxuya bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259m, q\u0131z\u0131m, amma s\u0259n h\u0259rd\u0259n k\u00f6nt\u00f6y \u00dczeyir doxturu xat\u0131rlayacaqsan y\u0259qin…\n<\/p>\n
\n Unutmad\u0131m ki, n\u0259h\u0259ng-z\u0259rif \u0130nsan…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
U\u015faql\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n v\u0259 g\u0259ncliyimin silinm\u0259z xatir\u0259l\u0259ri il\u0259 dolu h\u0259min d\u00f6vr\u0259 qay\u0131tmaqla soveti yax\u015f\u0131lamaq kimi bir m\u0259qs\u0259dim yoxdur<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":80491,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_sitemap_exclude":false,"_sitemap_priority":"","_sitemap_frequency":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[57],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-193387","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-menim-fikrimce","infinite-scroll-item","generate-columns","tablet-grid-50","mobile-grid-100","grid-parent","grid-33","no-featured-image-padding"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n