{"id":189619,"date":"2018-04-19T18:09:25","date_gmt":"2018-04-19T18:09:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.meydan.tv\/article\/pozitiv-olum\/"},"modified":"2018-04-19T18:09:25","modified_gmt":"2018-04-19T18:09:25","slug":"pozitiv-olum","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.meydan.tv\/az\/article\/pozitiv-olum\/","title":{"rendered":"Pozitiv \u00f6l\u00fcm"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n \"Orxan
\n Orxan Ad\u0131g\u00f6z\u0259l
\n <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\n \u0130ki aya yax\u0131n olard\u0131 ki, depressiyada idim. H\u0259min hal\u0131n m\u0259hz n\u0259d\u0259n qaynaqland\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bura yazma\u011fa ehtiyac duymuram. \u0130ndi bunun el\u0259 bir \u0259h\u0259miyy\u0259ti d\u0259 yoxdur.\n<\/p>\n

\n N\u0259 is\u0259.. Bu hal\u0131m\u0131 he\u00e7 ail\u0259m\u0259 bel\u0259 hiss etdirm\u0259mi\u015fdim. Valideynl\u0259rimi neqativl\u0259 y\u00fckl\u0259m\u0259k, onlar\u0131 hans\u0131sa \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 \u015f\u0259xsi qay\u011f\u0131 v\u0259 probleml\u0259riml\u0259 narahat etm\u0259k prinsipl\u0259rim\u0259 ziddir. Bu o dem\u0259k deyil ki, atamla, anamla bir \u00e7ox \u00f6vladlar aras\u0131nda m\u00f6vcud olan m\u0259n\u0259vi v\u0259 s\u0259mimi uzaql\u0131q var, xeyr! \u00c7ox \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr onlarla olan \u0259laq\u0259l\u0259rim isti v\u0259 mehriband\u0131r. \u00c7\u00fcnki ortada sevgi var. M\u0259s\u0259l\u0259 ondad\u0131r ki, m\u0259n bel\u0259 hallarla qar\u015f\u0131la\u015fanda valideynl\u0259riml\u0259 m\u00fcnasib\u0259tl\u0259rimi diplomatik \u015f\u0259kil\u0259 sal\u0131ram. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr\u0259m ki, onsuz da g\u00fcnd\u0259lik qay\u011f\u0131lar\u0131n fonunda bir d\u0259 m\u0259nim depressiv hal\u0131m\u0131 \u201c\u00e7\u0259km\u0259y\u0259\u201d borclu deyill\u0259r. Onlara bel\u0259 \u015fey ya\u015fatma\u011fa haqq\u0131m yoxdur.\n<\/p>\n

\n Bir ne\u00e7\u0259 se\u00e7kin dostlar\u0131mdan savay\u0131 he\u00e7 kim\u0259 melanxolik \u0259hvalda oldu\u011fumu bildirm\u0259dim. H\u0259min dostlar da sa\u011f olsunlar, \u00f6z m\u0259n\u0259vi d\u0259st\u0259kl\u0259rini \u0259sirg\u0259m\u0259dil\u0259r. Onlar\u0131n m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259tl\u0259rinin m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259n t\u0259siri olsa da, he\u00e7 c\u00fcr neqativ \u0259hvaldan xilas ola bilmirdim. F\u0259sil d\u0259yi\u015fikliyi d\u0259 bu hal\u0131n daha da a\u011f\u0131rla\u015fmas\u0131na s\u0259b\u0259b olurdu.\n<\/p>\n

\n Bir \u015feyi d\u0259 qeyd edim ki, t\u0259bi\u0259tc\u0259 b\u0259dbin v\u0259 depressiyaya meyilli biri deyil\u0259m. Bel\u0259 halla son 10 ild\u0259 c\u0259mi iki, ya \u00fc\u00e7 d\u0259f\u0259 rastla\u015fm\u0131\u015fam. \u00d6y\u00fcnm\u0259k kimi \u00e7\u0131xmas\u0131n, he\u00e7 fiziki m\u0259hdudiyy\u0259timi bel\u0259 f\u0259lak\u0259t saymayan biriy\u0259m. M\u0259ni nikbin insan saymaq olar. \u00dcmid v\u0259 inam h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 \u0259sas silahlar\u0131mdan olub. H\u0259min iki \u015fey m\u0259nim inanc sistemimin ayr\u0131lmaz t\u0259rkib hiss\u0259si say\u0131l\u0131rlar.\n<\/p>\n

\n O c\u00fcr \u0259hval\u0131 bo\u011fma\u011fa, m\u0259hv etm\u0259y\u0259 q\u0259rar ver\u0259nd\u0259n sonra v\u0259ziyy\u0259tin \u00f6z\u00fcml\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 olan \u00fcmumi motivini t\u0259hlil etm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131m. Ortaya \u00e7\u0131xan motiv \u00e7ox standart v\u0259 klassik idi – g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 qay\u011f\u0131lar…\n<\/p>\n

\n B\u0259s bu hans\u0131 qay\u011f\u0131lard\u0131r? Qay\u011f\u0131lar\u0131n t\u0259rifini yaz\u0131m:\n<\/p>\n

\n Qay\u011f\u0131lar \u00fcmumi olaraq konkretlikd\u0259n uzaq, h\u0259yata ke\u00e7m\u0259sin\u0259 ehtimal verdiyimiz d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n qaynaqlan\u0131r. Qay\u011f\u0131 bir insan\u0131n \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcqoruma v\u0259 riski azaltma formas\u0131d\u0131r. Qay\u011f\u0131 h\u0259m d\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 m\u0259nfi t\u0259hlil v\u0259 hadis\u0259l\u0259ri \u00f6nc\u0259d\u0259n pis t\u0259s\u0259vv\u00fcr etm\u0259dir.\n<\/p>\n

\n \u0130kinci n\u00fcans \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 yaz\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u0259lm\u0259kl\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131d\u0131r. Bu hal insan\u0131 depressiyaya aparan g\u00fccl\u00fc t\u0259sir\u0259 malikdir. T\u0259xmin\u0259n 7, ya 8 il \u00f6nc\u0259 oxudu\u011fum yapon yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131s\u0131 Haruki Murakaminin \u201cNorve\u00e7 me\u015f\u0259si\u201d roman\u0131ndan bir hiss\u0259ni yenid\u0259n xat\u0131rlad\u0131m. Sevgilisinin \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcnd\u0259n sonra b\u0259rk sars\u0131lan v\u0259 depressiyaya d\u00fc\u015f\u0259n g\u0259nc Vatanabey\u0259 otaq yolda\u015f\u0131 deyir ki, he\u00e7 vaxt \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 yaz\u0131\u011f\u0131n g\u0259lm\u0259sin. Roman\u0131n q\u0259hr\u0259man\u0131 o s\u00f6zl\u0259ri d\u0259rk ed\u0259nd\u0259n sonra \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 g\u0259lir.\n<\/p>\n

\n \u201cHe\u00e7 vaxt \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 yaz\u0131\u011f\u0131n g\u0259lm\u0259sin!\u201d – bu ifad\u0259 bir n\u00f6v m\u0259nim h\u0259yat devizim\u0259 \u00e7evirilib. \u0130nsan\u0131n \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 yaz\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 qay\u011f\u0131lar onu \u00e7ul\u011fay\u0131r v\u0259 beynini i\u015f\u011fal el\u0259yir. Sonra da t\u0259bii olaraq qay\u011f\u0131lar motivasiyam\u0131z\u0131 pozur, \u00fcmidl\u0259rimizi yox edir v\u0259 bizi uzun m\u00fcdd\u0259t \u00f6z \u0259sirin\u0259 \u00e7evir\u0259c\u0259k depressiya \u201ch\u0259bsxana\u201ds\u0131nda saxlay\u0131r.\n<\/p>\n

\n Ax\u0131 qay\u011f\u0131 sad\u0259c\u0259 ehtimallardan ibar\u0259t bir hissdir v\u0259 bu hiss g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 z\u0259man\u0259t v\u0259 d\u0259lil say\u0131lm\u0131r. H\u0259min hissl\u0259rl\u0259 yola \u00e7\u0131xsaq, h\u0259qiq\u0259t\u0259 yox, yan\u0131lma\u011fa m\u0259ruz qalar\u0131q.\n<\/p>\n

\n A\u011fl\u0131m\u0131za g\u00fcnd\u0259lik y\u00fczl\u0259rl\u0259, minl\u0259rl\u0259 fikir g\u0259lir. Bunlar\u0131n aras\u0131nda olan neqativ fikirin ne\u00e7\u0259 faizi ger\u00e7\u0259kl\u0259\u015fir? B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 he\u00e7 iki-\u00fc\u00e7 faizi bel\u0259 realla\u015fmay\u0131b.
\n
\n \u0130ndi art\u0131q yax\u015f\u0131yam. Bu c\u00fcr yax\u015f\u0131 olma\u011f\u0131ma s\u0259b\u0259b h\u0259m d\u0259 bu yax\u0131nda izl\u0259diyim teatr tama\u015fas\u0131 oldu. Rus yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131s\u0131 v\u0259 filosofu Ger\u00e7en \u00e7ox d\u00fcz buyurub: \u201cTeatr – h\u0259yat\u0131 vacib suallar\u0131n cavab tap\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 y\u00fcks\u0259k instansiya v\u0259 m\u0259kand\u0131r\u201d.\n<\/p>\n

\n Akademik Milli Dram Teatr\u0131nda yeni a\u00e7\u0131lm\u0131\u015f Abbas Mirz\u0259 \u015e\u0259rifzad\u0259 ad\u0131na s\u0259hn\u0259d\u0259 n\u00fcmayi\u015f olunan \u201cBir, iki- bizimki\u201d tama\u015fas\u0131 m\u0259n\u0259 \u00e7ox m\u00fcsb\u0259t t\u0259sir el\u0259di. Tama\u015fan\u0131n qurulu\u015f\u00e7u rejissoru dostum \u018flif Cahangirlidir. \u018flif onu Kamal Abdullan\u0131n eyniadl\u0131 \u0259s\u0259ri \u0259sas\u0131nda s\u0259hn\u0259l\u0259\u015fdirib. A\u00e7\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u0259s\u0259ri oxuduqda, onu el\u0259 d\u0259 b\u0259y\u0259nm\u0259mi\u015fdim. \u018flif tama\u015fan\u0131 \u00e7ox f\u0259rqli v\u0259 g\u00f6z\u0259l \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 quraraq, oxudu\u011fum \u201cBir, iki-bizimki\u201dni m\u0259n\u0259 tamamil\u0259 unutdurdu.\n<\/p>\n

\n Qar\u0131\u015f\u0131q v\u0259 g\u00fccl\u00fc emosiyalar alaraq, \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn biz\u0259 nec\u0259 yax\u0131n oldu\u011funu d\u0259rk ed\u0259r\u0259k, sanki yer v\u0259 g\u00f6y aras\u0131nda s\u0259yah\u0259t el\u0259dim. Tama\u015fa bar\u0259d\u0259 n\u0259l\u0259rs\u0259 yazmayacam. \u0130st\u0259y\u0259n bilet al\u0131b, gedib izl\u0259y\u0259 bil\u0259r. M\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259tdir.\n<\/p>\n

\n H\u0259min f\u0259ls\u0259fi notlarla z\u0259ngin olan tama\u015fadan sonra depressiyadan tamamil\u0259 xilas oldum. Ordan ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m enerji ruhumun k\u00f6zl\u0259rini bel\u0259 sa\u011faltd\u0131. H\u0259yat\u0131n a\u011f\u0131r t\u0259r\u0259fl\u0259rin, qay\u011f\u0131lar\u0131n beynimizd\u0259 nec\u0259 \u015fi\u015firtdiyimizi d\u0259rk etdim. \u00d6l\u00fcm bel\u0259 pozitiv g\u0259ldi m\u0259n\u0259. Tama\u015fadan sonra \u018flif\u0259 zarafata dedim ki, bu tama\u015fadan sonra insan h\u0259tta \u00f6lm\u0259k ist\u0259yir, \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc bu q\u0259d\u0259r pozitiv g\u00f6st\u0259r\u0259n olmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131 m\u0259n\u0259.\n<\/p>\n

\n Tama\u015fadan \u0259vv\u0259l d\u0259 \u018flifl\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fck. Biz\u0259 g\u0259lmi\u015fdi. Hal\u0131mdan x\u0259b\u0259rdar idi. \u00dcmumiyy\u0259tl\u0259, \u018flifl\u0259 ara-s\u0131ra g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr, h\u0259yatdan, m\u00fcnasib\u0259tl\u0259rd\u0259n v\u0259 onun sevdiyi m\u00f6vzu olan f\u0259ls\u0259f\u0259d\u0259n s\u00f6z a\u00e7\u0131r\u0131q. Onun bu s\u00f6zl\u0259rini d\u0259 he\u00e7 vaxt unutmayacam: \u2018\u2019A\u011fl\u0131m\u0131za g\u0259l\u0259n fikirl\u0259rin he\u00e7 biri qal\u0131c\u0131 deyil, onlar m\u00fcv\u0259qq\u0259ti olaraq ora g\u0259lir v\u0259 gedirl\u0259r. Qal\u0131c\u0131 olan is\u0259 bizik. G\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcm\u00fcz \u0259traf, var oldu\u011fumuz kainat m\u0259hz s\u0259nin \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn m\u00f6vcuddur. D\u00fcnyaya g\u0259lmis\u0259ns\u0259, ya\u015fay\u0131rsansa, dem\u0259li, s\u0259n se\u00e7ilmi\u015f say\u0131l\u0131rsan. Ya\u015fa, an\u0131 ya\u015fa\u201d.\n<\/p>\n

\n Bir daha \u0259min oldum ki, insan ke\u00e7mi\u015f v\u0259 ya g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259 ya\u015fay\u0131rsa, xo\u015fb\u0259xt ola bilmir. Ke\u00e7mi\u015fin k\u00f6lg\u0259l\u0259ri, g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259yin s\u0259rt g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259n k\u00fcl\u0259kl\u0259ri ona rahatl\u0131q g\u0259tirmir. M\u0259sud v\u0259 xo\u015fb\u0259xt ya\u015fama\u011f\u0131n yolu, ancaq v\u0259 ancaq \u2013 an\u0131 ya\u015famaqd\u0131r.\n<\/p>\n

\n D\u00fcnya bir g\u00fcnd\u00fcr, o da bug\u00fcnd\u00fcr!\n<\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n Yaz\u0131 m\u00fc\u0259llifin fikirl\u0259rini \u0259ks etdirir v\u0259 Meydan TV-nin m\u00f6vqeyi il\u0259 \u00fcst-\u00fcst\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259y\u0259 bil\u0259r.
\n <\/b>
\n <\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u0130ki aya yax\u0131n olard\u0131 ki, depressiyada idim. 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