{"id":187457,"date":"2017-11-14T23:41:46","date_gmt":"2017-11-14T23:41:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.meydan.tv\/article\/alagozlum-senden-ayri-dusenden\/"},"modified":"2017-11-14T23:41:46","modified_gmt":"2017-11-14T23:41:46","slug":"alagozlum-senden-ayri-dusenden","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.meydan.tv\/az\/article\/alagozlum-senden-ayri-dusenden\/","title":{"rendered":"Alag\u00f6zl\u00fcm, s\u0259nd\u0259n ayr\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u0259nd\u0259n…"},"content":{"rendered":"

\n Noyabr\u0131n 12-d\u0259 h\u0259yat\u0131m\u0131 alt-\u00fcst ed\u0259n m\u0259\u015fum q\u0259zan\u0131n doqquz ili tamam olur. Fiziki, m\u0259n\u0259vi g\u00fcc\u00fcml\u0259 b\u0259rab\u0259r anam\u0131 da \u0259limd\u0259n al\u0131b m\u0259ni natamam qoyan doqquz il. \u00c7oxdan yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131m bu yaz\u0131n\u0131 c\u00fczi texniki redakt\u0259 il\u0259 yenid\u0259n payla\u015fmaq ist\u0259dim. \u015e\u0259xsi hissl\u0259rimi ictimail\u0259\u015fdirm\u0259k kimi anla\u015f\u0131lmas\u0131n, b\u0259z\u0259n h\u0259yat\u0131m\u0131zda biz\u0259 aid olmaqdan \u00e7\u0131xan b\u00f6y\u00fck d\u0259y\u0259rl\u0259r d\u0259 olur.\n<\/p>\n

\n O q\u0259zada sa\u011f qalma\u011f\u0131ma \u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259n daha \u00e7o\u0445 anama g\u00f6r\u0259 sevindim. Yataqda oldu\u011fum alt\u0131-yeddi ay\u0131 \u00e7\u0259kdiyim \u0259zablara d\u00f6z\u0259 bilm\u0259z dey\u0259 onu dig\u0259r \u00f6vladlar\u0131n\u0131n himay\u0259sin\u0259 verib, var g\u00fcc\u00fcml\u0259 aya\u011fa qal\u0445maq ist\u0259yirdim ki, qald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z yerd\u0259n davam ed\u0259k.\n<\/p>\n

\n He\u00e7 dem\u0259, onu \u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259n uzaqla\u015fd\u0131rmaqla h\u0259yat\u0131m\u0131n \u0259n a\u011f\u0131r s\u0259hvin\u0259 yol vermi\u015f\u0259m. \u00c7\u00fcnki anam\u0131n u\u015faqlar\u0131 ill\u0259rl\u0259 qoruyub sa\u0445lad\u0131\u011f\u0131m qiym\u0259tli \u0259man\u0259ti m\u0259n\u0259 salamat qaytara bilm\u0259dil\u0259r. Y\u0259ni anam onlardan \u00f6tr\u00fc s\u0131radan bir qoca idi v\u0259 h\u0259min qocan\u0131n ba\u0445\u0131lma qaydas\u0131 va\u0445tl\u0131-va\u0445t\u0131nda yedizdirilib-yat\u0131zd\u0131r\u0131lmaqdan ibar\u0259tdi. Halbuki, m\u0259nim anam yem\u0259k v\u0259 yatmaq adam\u0131 deyildi, o, ikimiz\u0259 m\u0259\u0445sus m\u0259n\u0259vi d\u0259y\u0259rl\u0259rl\u0259 dolu azad bir al\u0259md\u0259 ya\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131. Kas\u0131b v\u0259 \u00e7\u0259tin g\u00fczaran\u0131m\u0131zla bu, otuz ild\u0259 ona ver\u0259 bildiyim yegan\u0259 g\u00f6z\u0259l \u015feydi. V\u0259 o da m\u0259hz g\u00f6z\u0259l \u015feyl\u0259rd\u0259n ibar\u0259t h\u0259min \u015f\u0259raitd\u0259n m\u0259hrum oldu\u011funa d\u00f6z\u0259 bilm\u0259di. Y\u0259ni h\u0259zm ed\u0259 bilm\u0259diyi standart r\u0259ftara v\u0259 m\u0259chul m\u0259nsizliy\u0259 \u00fcsyan ed\u0259r\u0259k h\u0259yat\u0131nda ilk s\u0259rt q\u0259rar\u0131n\u0131 verdi. Sad\u0259c\u0259 yem\u0259m\u0259kl\u0259 v\u0259 davaml\u0131 stressl\u0259rl\u0259 \u00f6l\u00fcm\u0259 k\u00f6kl\u0259ndi. Evimiz\u0259 qay\u0131danda art\u0131q gec idi. Bir pay\u0131z s\u0259h\u0259ri he\u00e7 bir x\u0259st\u0259liksiz, 120-80 t\u0259zyiql\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259rini yumdu. H\u0259kiml\u0259r onda he\u00e7 n\u0259 tapmad\u0131lar.\n<\/p>\n

\n Anam\u0131n \u00f6l\u00fcm aksiyas\u0131 t\u0259xmin\u0259n bir ay \u00e7\u0259kdi v\u0259 b\u00fct\u00fcn h\u0259min m\u00fcdd\u0259ti biz yenid\u0259n b\u0259rab\u0259r ya\u015fad\u0131q. Ya da ki, \u00f6ld\u00fck. \u0130ndi bu fell\u0259rin h\u0259r ikisi m\u0259nd\u0259n \u00f6tr\u00fc eyni \u015feydir. \u00c7\u00fcnki m\u0259n son g\u00fcc\u00fcm\u00fc s\u0259f\u0259rb\u0259r edib, guya ona g\u00f6r\u0259 sag qald\u0131m. O, m\u0259nd\u0259n \u00f6tr\u00fc \u2013 m\u0259nim yo\u0445lu\u011fuma g\u00f6r\u0259 h\u0259qiq\u0259t\u0259n \u00f6ld\u00fc. \u0130p\u0259k kimi z\u0259rif, balaca varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n se\u00e7imini s\u00fcr\u0259tl\u0259ndir\u0259n s\u0259b\u0259bl\u0259rd\u0259n dan\u0131\u015fma\u011fa q\u0259d\u0259r enm\u0259k ist\u0259mir\u0259m. \u00c7\u00fcnki ba\u011f\u0131\u015flama\u011f\u0131 bacaran o sad\u0259 v\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fck insan b\u00fct\u00fcn x\u0131rdal\u0131qlardan \u00e7o\u0445-\u00e7o\u0445 y\u00fcks\u0259kd\u0259ydi.\n<\/p>\n

\n ***\n<\/p>\n

\n Onu ba\u015f\u0131a\u00e7\u0131q g\u00f6rm\u0259mi\u015fdik \u2013 el\u0259 bil k\u0259la\u011fay\u0131da do\u011fulmu\u015fdu. S\u0259sini qald\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, b\u0259rkd\u0259n dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 da e\u015fitm\u0259mi\u015fdik. Dava n\u0259dir, he\u00e7 m\u00fcbahis\u0259 d\u0259 etm\u0259zdi. Fikrini sakitc\u0259 \u00e7atd\u0131rar, qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndak\u0131 bozar\u0131b duranda:\n<\/p>\n

\n \u201cNeyl\u0259y\u0259k, a bala, qoy s\u0259n dey\u0259n olsun\u201d, \u2013 dey\u0259rdi\u2026\n<\/p>\n

\n S\u00f6vq-t\u0259bii d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259 v\u0259 h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tl\u0259ri il\u0259 adam\u0131 el\u0259 \u00e7a\u015fd\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131 ki, dey\u0259rdin b\u0259s, ill\u0259rl\u0259 m\u0259\u015fq el\u0259yib. Yerli redaksiyada i\u015fl\u0259diyim vaxtlardan ax\u0131ra q\u0259d\u0259r m\u0259ruz qald\u0131\u011f\u0131m t\u0259zyiql\u0259ri ondan gizl\u0259tm\u0259k c\u0259hdl\u0259rimi nec\u0259 pu\u00e7a \u00e7\u0131\u0445artma\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u0445at\u0131rlad\u0131qca, ist\u0259r-ist\u0259m\u0259z doda\u011f\u0131m qa\u00e7\u0131r. Dal\u0131mca g\u0259l\u0259n milisl\u0259ri, hakimiyy\u0259t adamlar\u0131n\u0131 \u201ciclasa \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131lar\u201d dey\u0259 yola verirdim. Bir g\u00fcn ev\u0259 qay\u0131danda g\u00f6rd\u00fcm \u201cu\u00e7astkov\u0131\u201dya halvayla \u00e7ay i\u00e7irdir. \u00d6z\u00fcm\u0259 g\u0259lib d\u00fcz\u0259li\u015f ed\u0259n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r \u201cqonaq\u201d ona \u201c\u00e7est\u201d verib getdi. O da he\u00e7 n\u0259 olmam\u0131\u015f kimi m\u0259n\u0259: \u2013 Bu g\u00fcn iclas olmayacaq, \u2013 dedi, otur, \u00e7ay\u0131n\u0131 i\u00e7.\n<\/p>\n

\n Yax\u0131nlar\u0131m: \u201cOndan ba\u015fqa \u0259li q\u0259l\u0259m tutan yo\u0445dumu, \u00f6z\u00fc c\u0259h\u0259nn\u0259m, he\u00e7 olmasa s\u0259n\u0259 yaz\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u0259lsin\u201d, \u2013 dey\u0259r\u0259k z\u0259if damar\u0131n\u0131 tutmaq ist\u0259yirdil\u0259r. \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fc o yer\u0259 qoymay\u0131b: \u201cEl\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 yaz\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u0259lib yaz\u0131r da, m\u0259n d\u0259 bu camaatdanam\u201d \u2013 dey\u0259 diplomatik cavab verirdi. \u018fslind\u0259 anam m\u0259n\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 \u00e7o\u0445 qor\u0445urdu. B\u0259z\u0259n gec\u0259 s\u0259h\u0259r\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r yatmay\u0131b i\u015fl\u0259diyim yaz\u0131n\u0131 m\u0259n\u0259 o\u0445udur, nigaran\u00e7\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00fccl\u0259 gizl\u0259dirdi. \u201cQor\u0445ulu yaz\u0131lar\u201d \u00f6z yerind\u0259, \u00fcst\u0259g\u0259l c\u0259bh\u0259 s\u0259f\u0259rl\u0259rim d\u0259 bir t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259n onu daimi s\u0259ks\u0259k\u0259d\u0259 sa\u0445lay\u0131rd\u0131. Amma yen\u0259 ba\u015fqa \u2013 rahat bir h\u0259yat arzulam\u0131rd\u0131.\n<\/p>\n

\n H\u0259r\u0259kat vaxt\u0131 b\u00fct\u00fcn f\u0259allar biz\u0259 y\u0131\u011f\u0131\u015fard\u0131. Ham\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n \u201cmaddi rifah hal\u0131\u201deyni oldu\u011fundan anam \u00e7ox vaxt bizi \u0445\u0259\u015fill\u0259, umacla \u201cyola verirdi\u201d. H\u0259r k\u0259sl\u0259 ayr\u0131ca \u00fcnsiyy\u0259ti vard\u0131. V\u0259 ham\u0131m\u0131z \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn eyni d\u0259r\u0259c\u0259d\u0259 h\u0259y\u0259canlan\u0131rd\u0131. H\u0259tta arxivimi b\u0259rayi-ehtiyat balaca otaqda nec\u0259 gizl\u0259d\u0259rdis\u0259, laz\u0131m olanda h\u0259tta m\u0259n o ba\u011flaman\u0131n hardan \u00e7\u0131\u0445d\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fcrd\u00fcm.\n<\/p>\n

\n Sonrak\u0131 ill\u0259rd\u0259 \u00f6lk\u0259nin durumu d\u0259f\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 d\u0259yi\u015fdi, h\u0259yat\u0131m\u0131za g\u0259l\u0259nl\u0259r d\u0259, h\u0259yat\u0131m\u0131zdan ged\u0259nl\u0259r d\u0259 ba\u015fqala\u015fd\u0131. B\u00f6y\u00fck ehtimalla m\u0259n d\u0259 d\u0259yi\u015fdim… Yaln\u0131z anam d\u0259yi\u015fm\u0259yib daima el\u0259c\u0259 safl\u0131q, f\u0259dakarl\u0131q v\u0259 sevgi dolu qald\u0131…\n<\/p>\n

\n 2008-ci ilin noyabr\u0131n\u0131n 12-\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r m\u0259nim Alag\u00f6z bac\u0131m bu durumdayd\u0131. Ondan birc\u0259 il ke\u00e7m\u0259mi\u015f m\u0259n\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n sonrak\u0131 b\u00fct\u00fcn \u00f6mr\u00fcm\u0259 yet\u0259c\u0259k nisgil qoyub getdi.\n<\/p>\n

\n Rahat ol, can\u0131m anam, g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u0259n\u0259d\u0259k! S\u0259nin \u00f6vlad\u0131n olmaq q\u0259d\u0259r b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u0259 bilm\u0259s\u0259m d\u0259, ki\u00e7ilm\u0259dim d\u0259…\n<\/p>\n

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\n Yaz\u0131 m\u00fc\u0259llifin fikirl\u0259rini \u0259ks etdirir v\u0259 Meydan TV-nin m\u00f6vqeyi il\u0259 \u00fcst-\u00fcst\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259y\u0259 bil\u0259r.
\n <\/b>
\n <\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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