\n
\n Seks f\u0259aliyy\u0259ti g\u00f6st\u0259r\u0259n qad\u0131n\u0131n h\u0259yat hekay\u0259si
\n <\/i>\n<\/p>\n
\n \u015e\u0259lal\u0259 xan\u0131mla tan\u0131\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z t\u0259sad\u00fcf\u0259n olmad\u0131. \u018fslind\u0259, eyni \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259, eyni m\u0259h\u0259ll\u0259d\u0259 uzun m\u00fcdd\u0259t ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn, onu \u00e7oxdan tan\u0131y\u0131rd\u0131m. Onun bar\u0259sind\u0259 e\u015fitm\u0259m\u0259k m\u00fcmk\u00fcn deyildi, b\u00fct\u00fcn h\u0259y\u0259t yax\u0131nl\u0131qdak\u0131 binada ya\u015fl\u0131 bir qad\u0131n\u0131n uzun ill\u0259rdir evind\u0259 m\u00fc\u015ft\u0259ri q\u0259bul el\u0259diyind\u0259n dan\u0131\u015f\u0131r, o, h\u0259y\u0259td\u0259n ke\u00e7\u0259nd\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259yir, sonra arxas\u0131nca bu qad\u0131n\u0131n bioqrafiyas\u0131n\u0131 m\u00fcxt\u0259lif versiyalarda bir-biril\u0259rin\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131lar.\n<\/p>\n
\n V\u0259ziyy\u0259t el\u0259 g\u0259tirdi ki, \u015e\u0259lal\u0259 xan\u0131mla bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fmal\u0131 oldum. \u0130\u015fiml\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 internet tez-tez laz\u0131m olurdu, m\u0259h\u0259ll\u0259d\u0259 m\u00f6vc\u00fcd olan yegan\u0259 internet kluba qad\u0131nlar\u0131n girm\u0259yi m\u00fcmk\u00fcn deyildi. O h\u0259nd\u0259v\u0259rd\u0259 evind\u0259 internet olan t\u0259k qon\u015fu is\u0259 \u015e\u0259lal\u0259 xan\u0131m idi. M\u0259n bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 onun evin\u0259 gedib, internetd\u0259n istifad\u0259 ed\u0259nd\u0259, ham\u0131n\u0131n p\u0131\u00e7\u0131lt\u0131 il\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131 qad\u0131n\u0131 bir az tan\u0131maq imkan\u0131m oldu.\n<\/p>\n
\n \u018fvv\u0259la, onu deyim ki, bu xan\u0131m\u0131n n\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259 m\u0259\u015f\u011ful oldu\u011funu bilm\u0259s\u0259m, he\u00e7 vaxt a\u011fl\u0131ma g\u0259lm\u0259zdi ki, o, b\u0259d\u0259nini sataraq dolan\u0131r. Birincisi, kifay\u0259t q\u0259d\u0259r ya\u015fl\u0131 idi. \u0130kincisi, b\u0259lli bir obraz\u0131 olan y\u00fcng\u00fcl\u0259xlaq qad\u0131na he\u00e7 bir ox\u015farl\u0131\u011f\u0131 yox idi. N\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, n\u0259 geyimind\u0259, n\u0259 davran\u0131\u015f\u0131nda. Evi t\u0259miz, s\u0259liq\u0259li idi, daima haz\u0131r bir ne\u00e7\u0259 n\u00f6v yem\u0259k g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259rdi masada, geyimi is\u0259 h\u0259m k\u00fcbar, h\u0259m bahal\u0131, h\u0259m d\u0259 ya\u015f\u0131na uy\u011fun ciddiyy\u0259td\u0259 olurdu.\n<\/p>\n
\n O, kifay\u0259t q\u0259d\u0259r a\u00e7\u0131q adam idi. Ham\u0131n\u0131n onun n\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259 m\u0259\u015fgul oldu\u011fundan x\u0259b\u0259rdar oldu\u011funu bilirdi. Buna g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259, he\u00e7 n\u0259d\u0259n \u00e7\u0259kinmirdi. Evind\u0259 olanda bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 o \u00f6z\u00fc s\u00f6hb\u0259t salm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 taleyind\u0259n. M\u0259s\u0259l\u0259nin h\u0259ssas, a\u011fr\u0131l\u0131 oldu\u011funu bildiyimd\u0259n, \u00f6z\u00fcm he\u00e7 vaxt bu bar\u0259d\u0259 ona sual verm\u0259y\u0259 c\u0259sar\u0259t etm\u0259zdim. O is\u0259 q\u0131r\u0131q-q\u0131r\u0131q s\u00f6hb\u0259tl\u0259rl\u0259, \u00f6z hekay\u0259sini ba\u015fdan-aya\u011fa dan\u0131\u015fma\u011fa imkan tapd\u0131.\n<\/p>\n
\n 20 ya\u015f\u0131 olanda \u0259ri v\u0259 quca\u011f\u0131ndak\u0131 bir ya\u015fl\u0131 k\u00f6rp\u0259si il\u0259 rayonlar\u0131n birind\u0259n g\u0259lmi\u015fdi Sumqay\u0131ta. O ill\u0259rd\u0259 Sumqay\u0131t g\u0259nclik, zavod, s\u0259naye \u015f\u0259h\u0259ri idi. G\u0259nc ail\u0259 d\u0259 bu g\u0259nclik \u015f\u0259h\u0259rind\u0259 \u00f6z g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k taleyini g\u00f6r\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015f. \u018fri tez bir zamanda i\u015f tap\u0131r. Amma he\u00e7 bir il ke\u00e7m\u0259mi\u015f, i\u015f yolda\u015f\u0131 il\u0259 s\u00f6z\u00fc d\u00fcz g\u0259lmir. M\u00fcbahis\u0259 \u015fidd\u0259tli davaya \u00e7evrilir v\u0259 b\u0131\u00e7aqla\u015fmaya ke\u00e7ir. \u015e\u0259lal\u0259nin \u0259ri h\u0259min g\u00fcn i\u015f yolda\u015f\u0131n\u0131 b\u0131\u00e7aqlay\u0131r, \u00f6z\u00fc milis\u0259 t\u0259slim olur, m\u0259hk\u0259m\u0259 is\u0259 ona 15 il i\u015f k\u0259sir.\n<\/p>\n
\n \u0130ndi \u0259ri h\u0259bsd\u0259 olan \u015e\u0259lal\u0259nin iki yolu vard\u0131: Ya k\u00f6rp\u0259sini g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb rayona, ail\u0259sinin yan\u0131na qay\u0131tmaq v\u0259 h\u0259bsd\u0259 olan \u0259rin\u0259 \u0259rzaq, paltar g\u0259tirm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn yollardan qalmaq, ya da \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259 qal\u0131b bir i\u015f tapmaq. G\u0259nc qad\u0131n birinci variant\u0131 tez beynind\u0259n silib at\u0131r. Deyir ki, ora qay\u0131tsayd\u0131m, qohum-\u0259qraba \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259, balama verdiyi bir tik\u0259 \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259y\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 minn\u0259t qoyacaqd\u0131, h\u0259l\u0259 hardansa pul tap\u0131b he\u00e7 olmasa ayda bir d\u0259f\u0259 yolda\u015f\u0131m\u0131n yan\u0131nda t\u00fcrm\u0259y\u0259 d\u0259 g\u0259lm\u0259li idim. Bu pulu m\u0259n\u0259 kim ver\u0259c\u0259kdi? Atamgil d\u0259, qaynatamgil d\u0259 kas\u0131b adamlar idi. Onlara y\u00fck olma\u011f\u0131n bir ad\u0131 yox idi.\n<\/p>\n
\n \u0130kinci varinat Sumqay\u0131tda i\u015f tapmaq idi. Amma he\u00e7 bir t\u0259hsili olmayan, \u0259linin pe\u015f\u0259si olmayan g\u0259nc qad\u0131n harda i\u015fl\u0259y\u0259 bil\u0259rdi ki, h\u0259m \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc, h\u0259m k\u00f6rp\u0259sini, h\u0259m zindandak\u0131 \u0259rini doland\u0131rs\u0131n. \u015e\u0259lal\u0259 xan\u0131m deyirdi ki, m\u0259n ya qabyuyan, ya a\u015fpaz, ya da s\u00fcp\u00fcrg\u0259\u00e7i i\u015fl\u0259y\u0259 bil\u0259rdim. Maa\u015f q\u0259pik-quru\u015f, evd\u0259 u\u015faq, \u00f6z\u00fcm d\u0259 g\u0259nc qad\u0131n. Kims\u0259 ili\u015f\u0259c\u0259kdi, yax\u0131nl\u0131q el\u0259m\u0259k ist\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kdi, raz\u0131 olmasam da, i\u015fd\u0259n qovacaqd\u0131lar. Odur ki, bu i\u015f tapmaq m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259sin d\u0259 qoydum q\u0131ra\u011fa. A\u011fl\u0131ma ancaq o g\u0259lirdi ki, \u0259n rahat yolu bu i\u015fd\u0259dir.\n<\/p>\n
\n Sovet vaxt\u0131 bel\u0259 \u015feyl\u0259r az-az olurdu. Mehmanxanalara-zada da getm\u0259yi a\u011fl\u0131ma g\u0259tirm\u0259dim. Geyinib-ke\u00e7inib, toylara gedirdim, h\u00fcnd\u00fcr, g\u00f6z\u0259l, t\u0259k qad\u0131n idim, m\u00fctl\u0259q tan\u0131\u015f olmaq ist\u0259y\u0259n biri tap\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131. Evimin n\u00f6mr\u0259sini verirdim, z\u0259ng ed\u0259nd\u0259 d\u0259 \u0259vv\u0259lc\u0259d\u0259n deyirdim ki, pulla g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u0259m. Bir d\u0259f\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259n adam yar\u0131m il, bir il yan\u0131ma g\u0259lib gedirdi. Bel\u0259 \u015feyl\u0259r tez yay\u0131l\u0131r. Q\u0131sa m\u00fcdd\u0259td\u0259 ham\u0131 bildi ki, filan m\u0259h\u0259l\u0259d\u0259 filan evd\u0259 bel\u0259 bir qad\u0131n var. D\u00fczd\u00fc, bu, m\u0259n\u0259 h\u0259m \u00e7ox m\u00fc\u015ft\u0259ri g\u0259tirdi, amma h\u0259m d\u0259 qon\u015fularla probleml\u0259r ba\u015flad\u0131. Ki\u015fili-qad\u0131nli evim\u0259 g\u0259lib, yolda qaba\u011f\u0131m\u0131 k\u0259sib, dey\u0259l\u0259r oldu ki, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc y\u0131\u011f\u0131\u015fd\u0131r, m\u0259h\u0259ll\u0259y\u0259, binaya yad adam g\u0259tirm\u0259”.\n<\/p>\n
\n Amma g\u0259nc qad\u0131n \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc itirm\u0259yib. “U\u00e7astkovi” il\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131b, qazanc\u0131ndan onun hesab\u0131n\u0131 ver\u0259c\u0259yin\u0259 \u0259min edib. Qon\u015fulara is\u0259 s\u0259rt \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 bildirib ki, ona n\u0259s\u0259 el\u0259m\u0259k fikrin\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259sinl\u0259r. He\u00e7 kimd\u0259n qorxmur, he\u00e7 kim\u0259 d\u0259 h\u00f6rm\u0259tsizlik etmir. Deyib ki, evind\u0259n he\u00e7 vaxt s\u0259rxo\u015f m\u0259clis s\u0259sl\u0259ri, qalmaqal e\u015fidilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259k, m\u0259h\u0259ll\u0259y\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259n m\u00fc\u015ft\u0259ril\u0259r sakit v\u0259 m\u00fcmk\u00fcn q\u0259d\u0259r h\u0259y\u0259td\u0259 he\u00e7 kimin olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 vaxtlarda g\u0259lib ged\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259r. \u015e\u0259lal\u0259nin ciddi, qon\u015fucanl\u0131, \u0259lia\u00e7\u0131q qad\u0131n olmas\u0131 da m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259y\u0259 k\u00f6m\u0259k edib. Deyir ki, bu ill\u0259r \u0259rzind\u0259 bir qon\u015funun da toyundan-yas\u0131ndan qalmay\u0131b. Kim borc ist\u0259yibs\u0259, verib. Kim k\u00f6m\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131bsa, qa\u00e7\u0131b. \u00fcst\u0259lik, h\u0259r h\u0259ft\u0259 \u0259rin\u0259 ba\u015f \u00e7\u0259km\u0259yi, ona korluq verm\u0259m\u0259yi, u\u015fa\u011f\u0131na yax\u015f\u0131 baxma\u011f\u0131 da onu yax\u015f\u0131 qad\u0131n, qon\u015fu adam\u0131, \u00fcr\u0259yiyanan adam kimi tan\u0131d\u0131b ham\u0131ya.\n<\/p>\n
\n “M\u0259n bir d\u0259f\u0259 d\u0259 olsun, a\u00e7\u0131q-sa\u00e7\u0131q geyinm\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m, siqaret \u00e7\u0259km\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m, bir q\u0259d\u0259hd\u0259n art\u0131q i\u00e7ki i\u00e7m\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m. Bu m\u0259h\u0259ll\u0259y\u0259, qon\u015fular\u0131ma, onlar\u0131n fikirl\u0259rin\u0259 h\u00f6rm\u0259t el\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m, m\u0259h\u0259ll\u0259d\u0259 h\u00fcnd\u00fcr s\u0259sl\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fmam\u0131\u015fam. Ya\u015fl\u0131lar\u0131n h\u00f6rm\u0259tini saxlam\u0131\u015fam, kimin qay\u011f\u0131ya ehtiyac\u0131 olubsa, \u0259sirg\u0259m\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m. Ham\u0131 ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc ki, m\u0259n bu yola kefimd\u0259n deyil, m\u0259cbur qald\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn getmi\u015f\u0259m, he\u00e7 kim\u0259 a\u011f\u0131z a\u00e7may\u0131m, \u0259rim h\u0259bsxanada korluq \u00e7\u0259km\u0259sin, u\u015fa\u011f\u0131m min\u0259tli \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259k yem\u0259sin dey\u0259”.\n<\/p>\n
\n Zamanla qon\u015fular onun i\u015fin\u0259 al\u0131\u015f\u0131blar. H\u0259tta k\u0259nardan kims\u0259 \u015e\u0259lal\u0259 bar\u0259d\u0259 n\u0259s\u0259 pis s\u00f6z dey\u0259nd\u0259, qon\u015fular onu m\u00fcdafi\u0259 edibl\u0259r. “Ka\u015f el\u0259 b\u00fct\u00fcn o yola ged\u0259n qad\u0131nlar onun kimi olayd\u0131”, – deyibl\u0259r.\n<\/p>\n
\n \u015e\u0259lal\u0259 d\u00fcz 15 il \u0259rinin yan\u0131na gedib-g\u0259lib. Q\u0131sa bir zamandan sonra \u0259rinin ail\u0259si g\u0259linl\u0259rinin n\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259 m\u0259\u015f\u011ful oldu\u011funu \u00f6yr\u0259nib. Amma bunu \u0259rind\u0259n gizl\u0259dibl\u0259r. \u015e\u0259lal\u0259 deyir ki, bilirdil\u0259r, bunu x\u0259b\u0259r ver\u0259nd\u0259n sonra yolda\u015f\u0131m m\u0259ni g\u00f6rm\u0259kd\u0259n imtina ed\u0259c\u0259k, h\u0259r ay yan\u0131na gedib-g\u0259lm\u0259li, \u0259rzaq, siqaret, paltar aparmal\u0131 olacaqlar ona. Bunu el\u0259m\u0259sinl\u0259r dey\u0259, x\u0259b\u0259ri ona ancaq t\u00fcrm\u0259d\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xandan sonra verdil\u0259r.\n<\/p>\n
\n H\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131 arvad\u0131n\u0131n n\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259 m\u0259\u015f\u011ful oldu\u011funu \u00f6yr\u0259n\u0259nd\u0259n sonra n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r q\u0259z\u0259bl\u0259ns\u0259 d\u0259, son on be\u015f ili g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na g\u0259tirib. Arvad\u0131n\u0131n ona h\u0259r h\u0259ft\u0259 \u0259rzaq da\u015f\u0131ma\u011f\u0131, bir insan kimi sadiqliyini qiym\u0259tl\u0259ndir\u0259 bilib.\n<\/p>\n
\n \u00dcst\u0259lik, rus b\u00f6lm\u0259sind\u0259, \u0259la qiym\u0259tl\u0259rl\u0259 oxuyan, t\u0259rbiy\u0259li, m\u0259d\u0259ni bir o\u011ful b\u00f6y\u00fctm\u0259yi, qon\u015fular\u0131n \u015e\u0259lal\u0259 bar\u0259d\u0259 dedikl\u0259ri yax\u015f\u0131 s\u00f6zl\u0259r onu yum\u015fald\u0131b. O, evin\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259r\u0259k, arvad\u0131na bo\u015fanmaq ist\u0259m\u0259diyini, onu ba\u011f\u0131\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, birlikd\u0259 ya\u015famaq ist\u0259diyini deyir. Amma \u015e\u0259lal\u0259 xan\u0131m raz\u0131 olmur. Deyir: “Bel\u0259 \u015feyi unutmaq asan deyil. Bir il, iki il susacaqd\u0131, sonra qohumlar\u0131, yax\u0131nlar\u0131 beynini dolduracaqd\u0131lar, k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259d\u0259 insanlar sata\u015facaqd\u0131, arvad\u0131n fahi\u015f\u0259dir, s\u0259n d\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131na papaq qoyursan dey\u0259c\u0259kdil\u0259r. N\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r d\u00f6z\u0259c\u0259kdi ki. Ax\u0131rda da ya m\u0259ni d\u00f6ym\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flayacaqd\u0131, ya \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u0259c\u0259kdi, ya intihar ed\u0259c\u0259kdi. \u0130st\u0259m\u0259dim bunlar\u0131. Dedim, yox, g\u0259l m\u0259n s\u0259n\u0259 bir az pul verim. Get bir i\u015f qur. \u0130st\u0259yirs\u0259n lap o\u011flumuzu da apar. H\u0259r halda bel\u0259 ad \u00e7\u0131xaran anan\u0131n yan\u0131ndansa, s\u0259ninl\u0259 ona daha rahat olar.\n<\/p>\n
\n Amma n\u0259 \u0259rim raz\u0131 oldu, n\u0259 o\u011flum onunla getdi. Y\u0131\u011fd\u0131\u011f\u0131m pullardan bir q\u0259d\u0259rini ona verdim, getdi rayonda bir balaca d\u00fckan a\u00e7d\u0131. M\u00fcnasib\u0259tl\u0259rimiz d\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 qald\u0131. \u0130ndiy\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259 qonaq kimi g\u0259lir bura”.\n<\/p>\n
\n \u015e\u0259lal\u0259 xan\u0131m o\u011flunu rus b\u00f6lm\u0259sind\u0259 oxudub. U\u015faql\u0131qdan \u0259d\u0259biyyata, inc\u0259s\u0259n\u0259t\u0259 meyli olub o\u011flunun. Amma \u015e\u0259lal\u0259 xan\u0131m ona h\u0259rb\u00e7i olma\u011f\u0131 m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259t g\u00f6r\u00fcb. Deyir, bunu ona g\u00f6r\u0259 edib ki, Sumqay\u0131tda az qals\u0131n. Hans\u0131sa ba\u015fqa \u015f\u0259h\u0259r\u0259, rayona versinl\u0259r t\u0259yinat\u0131n\u0131. O yer\u0259 ki, orda onun anas\u0131n\u0131 he\u00e7 kim tan\u0131m\u0131r. O\u011flu da raz\u0131la\u015f\u0131b. \u0130ndi zabitdir. Y\u00fcks\u0259k r\u00fctb\u0259si var. Ya\u015f\u0131 q\u0131rxa azal\u0131b. \u00dc\u00e7 d\u0259f\u0259 ail\u0259 qurub v\u0259 bu evlilikl\u0259rd\u0259n 4 \u00f6vlad\u0131 var. B\u00fct\u00fcn h\u0259yat yolda\u015flar\u0131 il\u0259 anas\u0131na g\u00f6r\u0259 bo\u015fan\u0131b. Qudalar ilk vaxtlarda k\u00fcr\u0259k\u0259nl\u0259rinin anas\u0131n\u0131n kim oldu\u011funu bilm\u0259s\u0259l\u0259r d\u0259, sonradan \u00f6yr\u0259n\u0259nd\u0259 ondan anas\u0131ndan imtina etm\u0259sini t\u0259l\u0259b edibl\u0259r, \u0259ks halda q\u0131zlar\u0131n\u0131 bo\u015fatd\u0131racaqlar\u0131n\u0131 deyibl\u0259r. H\u0259r \u00fc\u00e7 d\u0259f\u0259 d\u0259 o\u011flu \u015e\u0259lal\u0259 xan\u0131m\u0131 se\u00e7ib.\n<\/p>\n
\n M\u0259hk\u0259m\u0259 \u015e\u0259lal\u0259 xan\u0131ma n\u0259v\u0259l\u0259rini, o\u011fluna is\u0259 \u00f6vladlar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rm\u0259y\u0259 g\u00fcnl\u0259r t\u0259yin edib. Bu g\u00fcnl\u0259rd\u0259 o n\u0259v\u0259l\u0259ri il\u0259 vaxt ke\u00e7irir. Onlarla \u0259yl\u0259nir, kinoya, d\u00fckanlara, parka apar\u0131r. H\u0259diyy\u0259l\u0259r al\u0131r, d\u0259rsl\u0259ri il\u0259 maraqlan\u0131r. Deyir ki, onlar\u0131n ham\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 ali t\u0259hsilli g\u00f6rm\u0259k ist\u0259yir. M\u00fctl\u0259q.\n<\/p>\n
\n \u015e\u0259lal\u0259 xan\u0131m deyir ki, o\u011flu bir d\u0259f\u0259 d\u0259 olsun onunla i\u015fi, h\u0259yat t\u0259rzi bar\u0259d\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fmay\u0131b. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 ona g\u00f6r\u0259 ki, \u015e\u0259lal\u0259 xan\u0131m o evd\u0259 olanda he\u00e7 vaxt m\u00fc\u015ft\u0259ri q\u0259bul etm\u0259yib, qay\u011f\u0131ke\u015f v\u0259 mehriban ana olub, yax\u015f\u0131 oxudub, ba\u015fqa d\u0259y\u0259rl\u0259r a\u015f\u0131lay\u0131b, \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131b m\u00fcmk\u00fcn q\u0259d\u0259r \u00f6z h\u0259yat\u0131ndan uzaq tutsun. Buna g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259, k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259d\u0259, h\u0259y\u0259td\u0259 e\u015fitdiyi t\u0259n\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 baxmayaraq, o\u011flu he\u00e7 vaxt anas\u0131n\u0131n i\u015fini \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 vurmay\u0131b.\n<\/p>\n
\n Do\u011frudan da, bizim \u00f6lk\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn olduqca q\u0259rib\u0259 hald\u0131r. Bir m\u0259h\u0259ll\u0259d\u0259 bir qad\u0131n seks xidm\u0259tl\u0259ri g\u00f6st\u0259rir. Amma qon\u015fular da, o\u011flu da, ke\u00e7mi\u015f \u0259ri d\u0259 onun t\u0259r\u0259fini saxlay\u0131r, h\u00f6rm\u0259t edir. N\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r ya\u015flansa da, ke\u00e7irdiyi a\u011f\u0131r ill\u0259r n\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259, n\u0259 duru\u015funda k\u0259skin izl\u0259r burax\u0131\u0131b. O, bizim \u00f6yr\u0259\u015fdiyimiz – ya\u015flanm\u0131\u015f seks i\u015f\u00e7isinin \u0259ld\u0259n d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f, d\u00fc\u015fk\u00fcnl\u0259\u015fmi\u015f, boyal\u0131, vulqar obraza he\u00e7 uy\u011fun g\u0259lmir. \u018fksin\u0259, daha \u00e7ox bir m\u0259mur qad\u0131na, hans\u0131sa varl\u0131, k\u00fcbar bir ail\u0259nin a\u011fbir\u00e7\u0259yin\u0259 ox\u015fay\u0131r.\n<\/p>\n
\n Bel\u0259 \u015fux qalma\u011f\u0131n\u0131n, insanlar\u0131n ona b\u0259sl\u0259diyi h\u00f6rm\u0259tin s\u0259b\u0259bini \u015e\u0259lal\u0259 xan\u0131m \u00f6z davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131nda, t\u0259dbirli v\u0259 m\u0259d\u0259ni insan olmas\u0131nda g\u00f6r\u00fcr:\n<\/p>\n
\n “\u018flb\u0259tt\u0259, m\u0259n he\u00e7 kim\u0259 bu yola d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259yi arzu el\u0259mir\u0259m, m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259t g\u00f6rm\u00fcr\u0259m. Amma b\u0259z\u0259n h\u0259yat buna m\u0259cbur edir. Bi halda ki, bu taled\u0259n qa\u00e7maq m\u00fcmk\u00fcn olmad\u0131, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc ba\u015fqa d\u0259rd\u0259 salmaq olmaz. Bax\u0131ram bu yola d\u00fc\u015f\u0259n g\u0259nc q\u0131zlara. \u0130\u00e7kiy\u0259 qur\u015fan\u0131rlar, narkotik\u0259 uyurlar, boyalar\u0131, a\u00e7\u0131q-sa\u00e7\u0131ql\u0131\u011f\u0131 se\u00e7irl\u0259r. S\u00f6y\u00fc\u015f s\u00f6y\u00fcrl\u0259r, \u00f6zl\u0259rini \u00e7ox kobud, t\u0259rbiy\u0259siz apar\u0131rlar. Bu yola d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fcs\u0259ns\u0259, o dem\u0259k deyil ki, m\u00fctl\u0259q bel\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u0259li, bel\u0259 olmal\u0131san. \u0130\u00e7ki, narkotik, \u0259xlaqs\u0131z davran\u0131\u015f h\u0259m \u00f6zl\u0259rinin g\u0259ncliyini m\u0259hv edir, h\u0259m d\u0259 ba\u015fqalar\u0131n\u0131n onlara nifr\u0259t etm\u0259sin\u0259, t\u0259hqir el\u0259m\u0259yin\u0259 \u015f\u0259rait yarad\u0131r. M\u00fc\u015ft\u0259ril\u0259ri onlar\u0131 b\u0259z\u0259n d\u00f6y\u00fcr, t\u0259hqir edir. M\u0259nim geyimim\u0259, dan\u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131ma baxan he\u00e7 vaxt \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 yara\u015fd\u0131rmay\u0131b ki, pis s\u00f6z desin, ya h\u00f6rm\u0259tsiz davrans\u0131n. Bu yolda d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259k o dem\u0259k deyil ki, m\u00fctl\u0259q qohumlar\u0131ndan, qon\u015fular\u0131ndan uzaqla\u015fasan. Ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u0259m, m\u00fcs\u0259lman\u0131q, he\u00e7 bir qohum, qon\u015fu bel\u0259 \u015fey\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 baxm\u0131r. Amma h\u0259r \u015fey adam\u0131n \u00f6z \u0259lind\u0259di. M\u0259n h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 b\u00fct\u00fcn xeyir-\u015f\u0259r\u0259 getmi\u015f\u0259m. Yax\u0131n adamlar\u0131n h\u00fczr\u00fc olanda k\u00f6m\u0259k el\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m. Ham\u0131yla h\u00f6rm\u0259tl\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fam. He\u00e7 kim bir az da olsa t\u0259rbiy\u0259sizliyimi, h\u00f6rm\u0259tsizliyimi g\u00f6rm\u0259yib. H\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 soyuqqanl\u0131 olmu\u015fam. \u00c7al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fam qazand\u0131\u011f\u0131m pulu a\u011f\u0131lla x\u0259rcl\u0259yim, q\u0259na\u0259t edim, o\u011flumun, \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn sonras\u0131n\u0131 fikirl\u0259\u015fim.\n<\/p>\n
\n \u0130nsanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 he\u00e7 vaxt unutmaq olmaz. M\u00fc\u015ft\u0259ril\u0259rim m\u0259n\u0259 daha \u00e7ox insan oldu\u011fuma g\u00f6r\u0259 ba\u011flan\u0131b. El\u0259si var, daha aram\u0131zda intim m\u00fcnasib\u0259t yoxdur, amma g\u0259lib-gedir, n\u0259s\u0259 problemim olanda h\u0259ll edir. \u00c7\u00fcnki onlarla insan kimi davranm\u0131\u015fam. Evimd\u0259 \u00f6zl\u0259rini \u00f6z evl\u0259rind\u0259ki kimi hiss edibl\u0259r. El\u0259si olub, deyib ki, arvad\u0131m xa\u015f iyini g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u00fcr, g\u0259lim s\u0259nin evind\u0259 xa\u015f bi\u015firim. Demi\u015f\u0259m g\u0259l. El\u0259si olub, g\u0259lib deyib ki, he\u00e7 n\u0259 ist\u0259mir\u0259m, el\u0259c\u0259 uzan\u0131b, sakit yat\u0131b dinc\u0259lm\u0259k ist\u0259yir\u0259m, evd\u0259 s\u0259s-k\u00fcy var. Yer rahatlam\u0131\u015fam, El\u0259si olub, deyib filan \u015f\u0259h\u0259r\u0259 gedir\u0259m, yolda dar\u0131xacam, g\u0259l m\u0259n\u0259 yol yolda\u015f\u0131 ol”.\n<\/p>\n
\n \u015e\u0259lal\u0259 xan\u0131m \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc b\u0259db\u0259xt saym\u0131r. Deyir ki, \u00f6mr\u00fcn\u00fcn ax\u0131r\u0131na kimi ona yet\u0259c\u0259k q\u0259d\u0259r pul y\u0131\u011f\u0131b. O\u011flunun yax\u015f\u0131 i\u015fi var. N\u0259v\u0259l\u0259ri yax\u015f\u0131 t\u0259hsil al\u0131r. Amma \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc xo\u015fb\u0259xt d\u0259 saym\u0131r. Deyir ki, \u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck s\u0259hvi t\u0259hsil almamaqla edib:\n<\/p>\n
\n “Vaxt\u0131nda oxusayd\u0131m, bu yola da d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259zdim. Yen\u0259 m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259 pis-yax\u015f\u0131 oxumu\u015fdum dey\u0259, \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc itirm\u0259dim, bu yolda d\u00fc\u015fs\u0259m d\u0259, \u00e7ox s\u0259hv el\u0259m\u0259dim, \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc \u00e7oxu kimi g\u00fcl\u00fcnc g\u00fcn\u0259 qoymad\u0131m, kims\u0259siz qalmad\u0131m. Amma yen\u0259 d\u0259 adam\u0131n i\u00e7ind\u0259 bir s\u0131z\u0131lt\u0131 qal\u0131r, fikirl\u0259\u015firs\u0259n ki, ax\u0131 h\u0259r \u015fey ba\u015fqa c\u00fcr\u0259 ola bil\u0259rdi…”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Seks f\u0259aliyy\u0259ti g\u00f6st\u0259r\u0259n qad\u0131n\u0131n h\u0259yat hekay\u0259si<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":79095,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_sitemap_exclude":false,"_sitemap_priority":"","_sitemap_frequency":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[56],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-182481","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-xeberler","infinite-scroll-item","generate-columns","tablet-grid-50","mobile-grid-100","grid-parent","grid-33","no-featured-image-padding"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n