{"id":179703,"date":"2016-10-18T18:18:17","date_gmt":"2016-10-18T18:18:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.meydan.tv\/article\/kisiler-seve-bilmir-deyen-qadinlara-xitab\/"},"modified":"2016-10-18T18:18:17","modified_gmt":"2016-10-18T18:18:17","slug":"kisiler-seve-bilmir-deyen-qadinlara-xitab","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.meydan.tv\/az\/article\/kisiler-seve-bilmir-deyen-qadinlara-xitab\/","title":{"rendered":"”Ki\u015fil\u0259r sev\u0259 bilmir” dey\u0259n qad\u0131nlara xitab!"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n \"Orxan
\n Orxan Ad\u0131g\u00f6z\u0259l
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\n \"Orxan
\n Orxan Ad\u0131g\u00f6z\u0259l-Banner
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\n \u0130ngilis yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131s\u0131 Virciniya Vulf-un “\u00d6z\u00fcn\u0259 aid bir otaq” kitab\u0131ndan yad\u0131mda qalan bu misralar\u0131 sizl\u0259rl\u0259 b\u00f6l\u00fc\u015fm\u0259k ist\u0259yir\u0259m:\n<\/p>\n

\n “X\u0259yali planda qad\u0131n son d\u0259r\u0259c\u0259 \u0259h\u0259miyy\u0259tlidir, h\u0259qiqi h\u0259yatda is\u0259 tamamil\u0259 \u0259h\u0259miyy\u0259tsiz.\u00a0\u015eeiri bir ba\u015fdan dig\u0259r ba\u015fa \u0259hat\u0259l\u0259y\u0259r, tarixd\u0259 is\u0259 he\u00e7 g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u0259z. Uydurma yaz\u0131da krallar\u0131n v\u0259 fatehl\u0259rin h\u0259yatlar\u0131na h\u00f6km ed\u0259r, ger\u00e7\u0259k h\u0259yatda ail\u0259sinin barma\u011f\u0131na bir \u00fcz\u00fck ke\u00e7irdiyi h\u0259r hans\u0131 o\u011flan\u0131n k\u00f6l\u0259sidir. Uydurma yaz\u0131da \u0259n ruhland\u0131r\u0131c\u0131 s\u00f6zl\u0259r, \u0259n d\u0259rin d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259r onun dodaqlar\u0131ndan t\u00f6k\u00fcl\u0259r, g\u00fcnd\u0259lik h\u0259yatda, dem\u0259k olar ki, he\u00e7 oxuyub-yaza bilm\u0259z v\u0259 \u0259rinin mal\u0131d\u0131r. Tarix qad\u0131ndan dem\u0259k olar he\u00e7 s\u00f6z etm\u0259z”.\n<\/p>\n

\n B\u0259li, qad\u0131nlar tarix boyu h\u0259r t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259n t\u0259zyiql\u0259r\u0259, t\u0259hqirl\u0259r\u0259, m\u0259\u015f\u0259qq\u0259tl\u0259r\u0259 ki\u015fil\u0259rd\u0259n daha \u00e7ox m\u0259ruz qal\u0131b. H\u0259min pis \u015feyl\u0259ri qad\u0131nlara ya\u015fadan el\u0259 \u0259n \u00e7ox ki\u015fil\u0259r \u00f6zl\u0259ri olub. Ki\u015fil\u0259r hakimiyy\u0259tl\u0259rini daim q\u0131l\u0131nc kimi qad\u0131nlar\u0131n ba\u015flar\u0131 \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259 saxlay\u0131b, onlar\u0131 \u00f6zl\u0259rind\u0259n as\u0131l\u0131 saxlama\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131blar.\n<\/p>\n

\n Bu c\u00fcr hallar bu g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fczd\u0259 d\u0259 m\u00f6vcuddur. \u018ffsuslar olsun ki, patriarxal bir c\u0259miyy\u0259td\u0259 ya\u015fay\u0131r\u0131q. C\u0259miyy\u0259tin b\u00fct\u00fcn sferalar\u0131nda \u0259sas s\u00f6z sahibl\u0259ri ki\u015fil\u0259rdir. N\u0259z\u0259r\u0259 alsaq ki, mentalitetl\u0259 idar\u0259 olunan qapal\u0131 bir \u00f6lk\u0259d\u0259 ya\u015fay\u0131r\u0131q, el\u0259 t\u0259kc\u0259 bu n\u00fcans qad\u0131nlar\u0131n azadl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n m\u0259hdudla\u015fmas\u0131n\u0131n g\u00f6st\u0259ricil\u0259rind\u0259n \u0259sas say\u0131la bil\u0259r.\n<\/p>\n

\n Bir \u00e7ox ki\u015finin qad\u0131nlar\u0131n h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131 z\u0259h\u0259r etdiyini, onlarla laz\u0131ms\u0131z bir \u0259\u015fya kimi davrand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 q\u0259bul edir\u0259m. Ail\u0259d\u0259 – ata, qarda\u015f, \u0259r; \u0130\u015f yerind\u0259 – m\u00fcdir, ki\u015fi kolleqalar v\u0259 m\u00fc\u015ft\u0259ril\u0259r; H\u0259r g\u00fcn ictimai n\u0259qliyyatda, k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259d\u0259-bay\u0131rda v\u0259 el\u0259c\u0259 d\u0259 sosial \u015f\u0259b\u0259k\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 s\u00f6z atmalar, sata\u015fmalar, m\u00fcxt\u0259lif “giri\u015fm\u0259” \u00fcsullar\u0131-bunlardan h\u0259r biri qad\u0131nlarda rahats\u0131zl\u0131q yaratd\u0131\u011f\u0131 t\u0259qdird\u0259, t\u0259zyiq \u00fcsulu hesab olunur.
\n
\n Bir ki\u015fi kimi \u00f6z h\u0259mcinsl\u0259rimin \u0259ks\u0259r hiss\u0259sinin yaratd\u0131\u011f\u0131 bu m\u0259nfi obraza g\u00f6r\u0259 t\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcf edir v\u0259 bunlar\u0131n m\u00f6vcudlu\u011funu etiraf edir\u0259m. \u0130ndi is\u0259 “s\u0259rb\u0259stliyi” \u0259lind\u0259n al\u0131nmam\u0131\u015f(!), t\u0259hsil almaq v\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259m\u0259k h\u00fcququna malik, y\u0259ni yuxar\u0131da sadalad\u0131\u011f\u0131m t\u0259zyiql\u0259rd\u0259n uzaq olan xan\u0131mlar\u0131n yen\u0259 d\u0259 ki\u015fil\u0259ri q\u0131namas\u0131na ayd\u0131nl\u0131q g\u0259tirm\u0259k ist\u0259yir\u0259m.\n<\/p>\n

\n Fikirl\u0259rimi s\u0131rf son zamanlar qad\u0131n v\u0259 ki\u015fi m\u00fcnasib\u0259tl\u0259rind\u0259ki sevgi m\u00fcnasib\u0259ti \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259 qurmu\u015fam. Bura dig\u0259r \u00fcns\u00fcrl\u0259ri v\u0259 probleml\u0259ri qatmam\u0131\u015fam. Onlar ayr\u0131 yaz\u0131lar\u0131n m\u00f6vzular\u0131d\u0131r.\n<\/p>\n

\n Fikirl\u0259rimi maksimum \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 q\u0259r\u0259zsiz v\u0259 obyektiv sur\u0259td\u0259 qeyd etm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fam. Subay, evli, bo\u015fanm\u0131\u015f, dul – f\u0259rqi yoxdur. H\u0259r hans\u0131 xan\u0131m\u0131n q\u0259lbind\u0259 m\u00fcnasib\u0259td\u0259 oldu\u011fu ki\u015fiy\u0259 simpatiya, harmoniya v\u0259 sevgi varsa, bu s\u0259tirl\u0259rl\u0259 onlara xitab edir\u0259m.\n<\/p>\n

\n Qad\u0131nlar\u0131n \u0259ks\u0259riyy\u0259ti “Ki\u015fil\u0259r sevm\u0259yi bacarm\u0131rlar” iddias\u0131ndad\u0131lar. Son ill\u0259r, \u00fcmumiyy\u0259tl\u0259, sevgi il\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259r tamamil\u0259 d\u0259yi\u015fib, bu da birba\u015fa ki\u015fi-qad\u0131n m\u00fcnasib\u0259tl\u0259rind\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6st\u0259rir.\n<\/p>\n

\n \u0130ndi is\u0259 bu aspektd\u0259n ki\u015fil\u0259rin v\u0259 qad\u0131nlar\u0131n bir-birini nec\u0259 g\u00f6rm\u0259l\u0259rin\u0259 diqq\u0259t yetirin!\n<\/p>\n

\n Ki\u015fil\u0259r qad\u0131nlar\u0131n g\u00f6z\u00fc il\u0259: \u018fks\u0259r qad\u0131nlar ki\u015fil\u0259rin, \u00fcmumiyy\u0259tl\u0259, sevm\u0259yi bacarmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrl\u0259r.\n<\/p>\n

\n Qad\u0131nlara g\u00f6r\u0259, onlar m\u0259suliyy\u0259tsizdirl\u0259r, h\u0259r \u015feyd\u0259 yaln\u0131z \u0259yl\u0259nc\u0259 v\u0259 rahatl\u0131q axtar\u0131rlar, eqoist olduqlar\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn yaln\u0131z \u00f6zl\u0259rini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrl\u0259r, qad\u0131nlarla yaln\u0131z vaxt ke\u00e7irir v\u0259 maraqlar\u0131 \u00f6ld\u00fckd\u0259n sonra ba\u015fqa mac\u0259ralar dal\u0131nca qa\u00e7d\u0131qlar\u0131n\u0131 z\u0259nn edirl\u0259r v\u0259 \u0259n n\u0259hay\u0259t, ki\u015fil\u0259r\u0259 q\u0259tiyy\u0259n inanmaq v\u0259 etibar etm\u0259k olmaz.\n<\/p>\n

\n Qad\u0131nlar ki\u015fil\u0259rin g\u00f6z\u00fc il\u0259: Ki\u015fil\u0259rin is\u0259 \u00f6zl\u0259ri haqda olan bu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 cavablar\u0131 var. Bel\u0259 ki, onlara g\u00f6r\u0259 qad\u0131nlar ki\u015fil\u0259rin azadl\u0131qlar\u0131n\u0131 \u0259ll\u0259rind\u0259n alma\u011fa, onlar\u0131 idar\u0259 etm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rlar. Qad\u0131nlar h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259 i\u00e7ind\u0259dirl\u0259r v\u0259 ki\u015fil\u0259r\u0259 inanm\u0131rlar. Ki\u015fil\u0259r daim q\u0131na\u011fa m\u0259ruz qal\u0131rlar, onlar\u0131 h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 t\u0259l\u0259sdirirl\u0259r, bir s\u00f6zl\u0259, qad\u0131nlar onlar\u0131 ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fcr.\n<\/p>\n

\n Qad\u0131nlar\u0131n ist\u0259yi – m\u00fcnasib\u0259td\u0259 olduqlar\u0131 ki\u015fid\u0259n daha \u00e7ox g\u00f6z\u0259l s\u00f6zl\u0259r, tez-tez sevgi etiraf\u0131 e\u015fitm\u0259k, \u0259zizl\u0259nm\u0259k, onlara h\u0259diyy\u0259 verilm\u0259sini ist\u0259yirl\u0259r. M\u00fcnasib\u0259tl\u0259rin \u0259vv\u0259lind\u0259 h\u0259r \u015fey onlar\u0131n ist\u0259diyi kimi olur, daha sonra is\u0259 z\u0259ngl\u0259r v\u0259 mesajlar, sevgi etiraflar\u0131 azal\u0131r. Bu is\u0259, ilk n\u00f6vb\u0259d\u0259, qad\u0131n\u0131n “O, art\u0131q m\u0259ni sevmir” fikrin\u0259 g\u0259lm\u0259sin\u0259 g\u0259tirib \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131r v\u0259 \u00e7ox vaxt s\u0259hv olaraq sevginin \u00f6ld\u00fcy\u00fc kimi ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcl\u00fcr.\n<\/p>\n

\n B\u0259s \u0259slind\u0259 nec\u0259dir? \u018flb\u0259tt\u0259 ki, ki\u015fil\u0259r d\u0259 sev\u0259 bilir, lakin onlar emosiyalar\u0131n\u0131, hissl\u0259rini qad\u0131nlar q\u0259d\u0259r biruz\u0259 ver\u0259 bilmirl\u0259r, qad\u0131nlarda is\u0259 bunun tam \u0259ksi oldu\u011fu \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn arada anla\u015f\u0131lmazl\u0131q yaran\u0131r. Lakin daha diqq\u0259tli olub, h\u0259r iki t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259 bir-birini ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259k v\u0259 dinl\u0259m\u0259k bacar\u0131\u011f\u0131 olsa, \u0259sl hissl\u0259ri g\u00f6rm\u0259k m\u00fcmk\u00fcnd\u00fcr. H\u0259m ki\u015fil\u0259rin, h\u0259m qad\u0131nlar\u0131n bir-birind\u0259n hissl\u0259rini eyni c\u00fcr ifad\u0259 etm\u0259k ist\u0259yi he\u00e7 bir m\u0259ntiq\u0259 s\u0131\u011fm\u0131r, s\u0259b\u0259b is\u0259 \u00e7ox sad\u0259dir, qad\u0131n v\u0259 ki\u015fi m\u00fcxt\u0259lif cinsl\u0259r\u0259 m\u0259nsubdurlar. Ki\u015fil\u0259r daha \u00e7ox praqmatikdil\u0259r, qad\u0131nlarda is\u0259 emosiyalar \u00fcst\u00fcnl\u00fck t\u0259\u015fkil edir.\n<\/p>\n

\n B\u0259s ki\u015fil\u0259rd\u0259 sevginin oldu\u011funu nec\u0259 m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259n etm\u0259k olar?!\n<\/p>\n

\n Sevginin \u0259lam\u0259tl\u0259ri – Ki\u015fil\u0259rin sevgisini t\u0259yin etm\u0259k asan olmasa da, m\u00fcmk\u00fcnd\u00fcr. Sevgiliniz uzun m\u00fcdd\u0259t ke\u00e7m\u0259sin\u0259 baxmayaraq, yen\u0259 d\u0259 sizinl\u0259 vaxt ke\u00e7irm\u0259yi dostlar\u0131ndan daha \u00fcst\u00fcn tutursa, sizinl\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k planlar\u0131 varsa, onlardan tez-tez dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rsa v\u0259 “m\u0259n” s\u00f6z\u00fc \u0259v\u0259zin\u0259, “biz” s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc i\u015fl\u0259dirs\u0259, dem\u0259li, siz onun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn d\u0259y\u0259rlisiniz. Siz\u0259 d\u0259y\u0259rli olan \u0259\u015fyalar\u0131n\u0131 etibar edirs\u0259, m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259n, ma\u015f\u0131n, komp\u00fcter v\u0259 s. bu, yax\u015f\u0131 g\u00f6st\u0259ricidir, bel\u0259 ki, ki\u015fil\u0259r qiym\u0259tli \u0259\u015fyalar\u0131n\u0131 payla\u015fma\u011f\u0131 sevmirl\u0259r, etibar etdikl\u0259ri insanlardan ba\u015fqa he\u00e7 kim bu \u015f\u0259r\u0259f\u0259 layiq olmur. Daha sonra, o, sizinl\u0259 olan konfliktl\u0259r\u0259 bel\u0259 vaxt s\u0259rf edirs\u0259, \u0259s\u0259bil\u0259\u015fib, vaxt\u0131n\u0131 itirirs\u0259, n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r q\u0259rib\u0259 olsa da, bu da siz\u0259 olan qiym\u0259ti g\u00f6st\u0259rir, \u00e7\u00fcnki ki\u015fil\u0259r \u0259h\u0259miyy\u0259t verm\u0259diyi insanlarla konflikt zaman\u0131 sad\u0259c\u0259 \u00e7evrilib gedirl\u0259r. \u018fg\u0259r sevdiyiniz ki\u015fi siz\u0259 ev v\u0259 t\u0259mir i\u015fl\u0259rind\u0259 aktiv k\u00f6m\u0259k edirs\u0259, probleml\u0259rinizi qulaqard\u0131na vurmaq \u0259v\u0259zin\u0259 onlar\u0131 h\u0259ll etm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rsa, bu, onun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00f6t\u0259ri bir h\u0259v\u0259s olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 g\u00f6st\u0259rir.\n<\/p>\n

\n H\u0259r bir qad\u0131n yarad\u0131l\u0131\u015fdan a\u011f\u0131ll\u0131d\u0131r, xeyirxah v\u0259 m\u0259rh\u0259m\u0259tlidir. Ancaq h\u0259r qad\u0131n bu keyfiyy\u0259tl\u0259ri \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259 qoruyub saxlaya bilirmi? Bu s\u0259viyy\u0259d\u0259 olan qad\u0131nlar daha t\u0259cr\u00fcb\u0259li olur, dinl\u0259m\u0259yi bacar\u0131r, qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndak\u0131 insanlara h\u00f6rm\u0259tl\u0259 yana\u015f\u0131r. O, h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131n h\u0259r an\u0131ndan h\u0259zz alma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r. \u00c7\u00fcnki anlay\u0131r ki, bo\u015f fikirl\u0259r\u0259 ay\u0131racaq zaman\u0131 yoxdur. Ki\u015fil\u0259r onlar\u0131 h\u0259r zaman t\u0259rav\u0259tli v\u0259 cazib\u0259dar hesab edir.\n<\/p>\n

\n \u018fziz qad\u0131nlar, \u00fcmid edir\u0259m bu yaz\u0131dan sonra biz ki\u015fil\u0259r\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131 m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259n q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259 olsa fikirl\u0259riniz d\u0259yi\u015f\u0259c\u0259k v\u0259 ham\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 eyni pis fikirl\u0259rl\u0259 yad etm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259ksiniz. Sizsiz h\u0259yat bir he\u00e7dir. N\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 ki, vars\u0131n\u0131z!\n<\/p>\n<\/p>\n

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\n Yaz\u0131 m\u00fc\u0259llifin fikirl\u0259rini \u0259ks etdirir v\u0259 Meydan TV-nin m\u00f6vqeyi il\u0259 \u00fcst-\u00fcst\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259y\u0259 bil\u0259r.
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Qad\u0131nlar tarix boyu h\u0259r t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259n t\u0259zyiql\u0259r\u0259, t\u0259hqirl\u0259r\u0259, m\u0259\u015f\u0259qq\u0259tl\u0259r\u0259 ki\u015fil\u0259rd\u0259n daha \u00e7ox m\u0259ruz qal\u0131b<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":47490,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_sitemap_exclude":false,"_sitemap_priority":"","_sitemap_frequency":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[57],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-179703","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-menim-fikrimce","infinite-scroll-item","generate-columns","tablet-grid-50","mobile-grid-100","grid-parent","grid-33","no-featured-image-padding"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n''Ki\u015fil\u0259r sev\u0259 bilmir'' dey\u0259n qad\u0131nlara xitab! - MEYDAN.TV<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.meydan.tv\/az\/article\/kisiler-seve-bilmir-deyen-qadinlara-xitab\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"az_AZ\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"''Ki\u015fil\u0259r sev\u0259 bilmir'' dey\u0259n qad\u0131nlara xitab! 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