{"id":167536,"date":"2015-04-13T20:21:36","date_gmt":"2015-04-13T20:21:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.meydan.tv\/article\/xeyalen-qaciram\/"},"modified":"2015-04-13T20:21:36","modified_gmt":"2015-04-13T20:21:36","slug":"xeyalen-qaciram","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.meydan.tv\/az\/article\/xeyalen-qaciram\/","title":{"rendered":"X\u0259yal\u0259n qa\u00e7\u0131ram"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\n G\u00fcn \u0259rzind\u0259 7 saatdan \u00e7ox yatma\u011f\u0131 vaxt itkisi hesab edir\u0259m. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 bu gec\u0259 4 saat yatm\u0131\u015fam. Budur, s\u0259h\u0259r art\u0131q 7-dir v\u0259 m\u0259n oyan\u0131b, \u0259lil arabamda oturmu\u015fam. Ota\u011f\u0131m ala-qaranl\u0131qd\u0131r. Saat\u0131n s\u0259si s\u00fckutu pozur. \u0130ndi mart ay\u0131d\u0131r. Bahar f\u0259sli qap\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 d\u00f6y\u00fcr…\n<\/p>\n

\n Bils\u0259niz, nec\u0259 sevinir\u0259m bahar\u0131n g\u0259li\u015fin\u0259… \u0130ndi \u00fcz\u00fc p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259y\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f oturub, h\u0259y\u0259timizd\u0259n g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259n a\u011faclara bax\u0131ram. T\u0259bi\u0259ti v\u0259 a\u011faclar\u0131 sevdiyim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn, \u00fcst\u0259lik, bahar\u0131n g\u0259li\u015fini ruhumda, qan\u0131mda hiss etdiyim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn q\u0259lbimd\u0259 t\u0259rav\u0259t hissi oyan\u0131r. \u018fslind\u0259, b\u00fct\u00fcn t\u0259bi\u0259t oyan\u0131r. Bu ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m hiss ona g\u00f6r\u0259dir.\n<\/p>\n

\n Yad\u0131ma g\u0259zdiyim vaxtlarda, el\u0259 bu saatlarda evd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b, g\u0259zintiy\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131\u011f\u0131m g\u00fcnl\u0259r d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr. Sa\u011flaml\u0131q \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn s\u0259h\u0259rl\u0259r qa\u00e7ma\u011fa h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 \u00fcst\u00fcnl\u00fck vermi\u015f\u0259m. Yada d\u00fc\u015f\u0259n xatir\u0259l\u0259r indi G\u0259nc\u0259 \u015f\u0259h\u0259ri il\u0259 ilgilidir. Orda 2 il ali t\u0259hsil alm\u0131\u015fam. T\u0259hsil almaqla yana\u015f\u0131, h\u0259m d\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259yirdim. El\u0259 mart ay\u0131 g\u0259l\u0259n kimi, bahar\u0131 hiss el\u0259diyim andan etibar\u0259n, s\u0259h\u0259rl\u0259r \u00e7ox vaxt b\u00f6y\u00fck \u015f\u00f6vql\u0259 ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m q\u0259s\u0259b\u0259nin yan\u0131ndak\u0131 ba\u011fda qa\u00e7ma\u011fa gedirdim. H\u0259min anlar\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcb, duy\u011fulan\u0131ram. D\u00fczd\u00fcr, \u00fcz\u00fcmd\u0259 t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcm var, amma getdikc\u0259 q\u0259lbimd\u0259 dar\u0131xmaq alovlar\u0131 y\u00fcks\u0259lir. Alovun \u00fcz\u0259rin\u0259 su s\u0259pm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn sa\u011flaml\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00e7ox z\u0259ruri olan n\u0259f\u0259s fizioterapiyas\u0131n\u0131 edir\u0259m. G\u00f6zl\u0259rimi yumur, d\u0259rind\u0259n v\u0259 s\u00fcr\u0259tl\u0259 n\u0259f\u0259simi burnumdan al\u0131r, a\u011fz\u0131mdan ehtiyatla v\u0259 inc\u0259 \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 n\u0259f\u0259simi burax\u0131ram. Bu fizioterapik n\u0259f\u0259s idman\u0131 \u0259lilliyi olan insanlar \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00e7ox faydal\u0131d\u0131r.\n<\/p>\n

\n G\u00f6zl\u0259rimi yummaq m\u0259n\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 hal b\u0259x\u015f etm\u0259di. \u0130ndi daha \u00e7ox dar\u0131xd\u0131m. \u00c7\u00fcnki g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc yumark\u0259n, h\u0259min ba\u011f yenid\u0259n g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na g\u0259ldi. Bu x\u0259yal\u0131 qova bilm\u0259dim ba\u015f\u0131mdan. A\u00e7\u0131\u011f\u0131, qovma\u011fa da \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmad\u0131m. B\u00fct\u00fcn o g\u00f6z\u0259l ya\u015f\u0131l v\u0259 a\u00e7\u0131q ya\u015f\u0131l a\u011faclar\u0131n m\u0259nz\u0259r\u0259si m\u0259ni a\u011fu\u015funa ald\u0131. Ba\u011f\u0131n k\u0259nar\u0131nda bir bulaq var idi. Ordan l\u0259zz\u0259tl\u0259 bir ne\u00e7\u0259 qurtum su i\u00e7dim. \u018fl-\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fc yudum v\u0259 yava\u015f-yava\u015f qa\u00e7ma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131m. N\u0259f\u0259s al\u0131b, ver\u0259r\u0259k x\u0259yal\u0259n 7 il \u0259vv\u0259l\u0259 getdim. Ciy\u0259rl\u0259rimd\u0259 duydu\u011fum hava sanki Bak\u0131n\u0131n yox, m\u0259hz G\u0259nc\u0259d\u0259ki ba\u011f\u0131n t\u0259miz havas\u0131d\u0131r. Dar\u0131xsam da, g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc a\u00e7mad\u0131m. Bu c\u00fcr dar\u0131xma\u011f\u0131ma ba\u015fqa s\u0259b\u0259b m\u0259hz odur ki, 6 ild\u0259n \u00e7oxdur ki, G\u0259nc\u0259ni v\u0259 h\u0259min o ba\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6rm\u00fcr\u0259m. Ke\u00e7irtdiyim q\u0259zadan sonra ora ged\u0259 bilm\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m. \u0130ndi bir n\u00f6v ruh\u0259n h\u0259min m\u0259kana transfer olmu\u015fam. V\u0259 h\u0259l\u0259 ki, g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc a\u00e7\u0131b, bu m\u0259kandan \u00e7\u0131xmaq ist\u0259mir\u0259m.\n<\/p>\n

\n Qa\u00e7\u0131ram… \u00dcz\u00fcm\u0259 \u0259sl bahar mehi d\u0259yir. Boynumu sa\u011fa-sola \u00e7evirib, k\u0259nardak\u0131 ya\u015f\u0131la b\u00fcr\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015f x\u0131rda t\u0259p\u0259cikl\u0259r\u0259, g\u00fcll\u00fc-\u00e7i\u00e7\u0259kli otlaqlara bax\u0131ram. Sa\u011f\u0131mdak\u0131 v\u0259 solumdak\u0131 a\u011faclar m\u0259ni g\u00fcl\u0259r \u00fczl\u0259 salamlay\u0131r. A\u011faclar\u0131n v\u0259 budaqlar\u0131n aras\u0131ndan d\u00fc\u015f\u0259n g\u00fcn\u0259\u015f \u015f\u00fcalar\u0131 t\u0259kc\u0259 b\u0259d\u0259nimi deyil, ruhumu da isidir. Ah, qa\u00e7a-qa\u00e7a \u00fcr\u0259kd\u0259n g\u00fcl\u00fcr\u0259m. Bu g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015f xo\u015fb\u0259xtlik ni\u015fan\u0259sidir. G\u00fcn\u0259\u015f \u015f\u00fcalar\u0131 \u00e7ox vaxt m\u0259n\u0259 bu duy\u011fular\u0131 ya\u015fad\u0131r. M\u0259n g\u00fcn\u0259\u015fi \u00e7ox sevir\u0259m. M\u0259ni heyran qoyan bu ba\u011fda g\u00fcn\u0259\u015fl\u0259 \u00fczl\u0259\u015fm\u0259k is\u0259 lap q\u0259\u015f\u0259ngdir. \u00d6z\u00fcm\u00fc \u00e7ox rahat v\u0259 co\u015fqun hiss edir\u0259m. \u0130ndi fiziki m\u0259hdudiyy\u0259tim\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 ayaqlar\u0131m\u0131 tam hiss etm\u0259s\u0259m d\u0259, bu ruhi-x\u0259yali s\u0259yah\u0259td\u0259 qa\u00e7ark\u0259n, ayaq damarlar\u0131m\u0131n nec\u0259 geni\u015fl\u0259ndiyini, \u0259z\u0259l\u0259l\u0259rimin dart\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 v\u0259 onlar\u0131n i\u015fl\u0259k oldu\u011fu \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn t\u0259bii istiliyini \u00e7ox yax\u015f\u0131 duya bilir\u0259m. Ayaqqab\u0131ma ili\u015f\u0259n x\u0131rda da\u015flar, yerin maililiyini ki\u00e7ik d\u0259 olsa konsentrasiyam\u0131 pozark\u0259n x\u0131rda b\u00fcdr\u0259m\u0259l\u0259rim nec\u0259 d\u0259 xo\u015fuma g\u0259lir.\n<\/p>\n

\n \u018fn g\u00f6z\u0259li bilirsiniz, n\u0259dir? T\u0259bi\u0259tin \u00f6z t\u0259bii v\u0259 sehrli s\u0259sl\u0259ri. Qu\u015flar\u0131n oxuma\u011f\u0131 m\u0259nim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn ilahi bir musiqi kimi s\u0259sl\u0259nir. Ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m probleml\u0259ri antibiotik kimi ruhumdan sovurub t\u0259mizl\u0259yir. Daha he\u00e7 bir enerji g\u0259tir\u0259n musiqiy\u0259 ehtiyac duymuram. Ad\u0259t\u0259n qa\u00e7ark\u0259n, musiqi dinl\u0259m\u0259kd\u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck z\u00f6vq al\u0131ram. Amma indi t\u0259bi\u0259tin \u00f6z t\u0259bii v\u0259 harmonik s\u0259sl\u0259ri he\u00e7 n\u0259 il\u0259 \u0259v\u0259z oluna bilm\u0259z. Uzaqdan bir at ki\u015fn\u0259m\u0259si e\u015fidir\u0259m. K\u00fcl\u0259k aram-aram a\u011facdak\u0131 yarpaqlar\u0131n x\u0131\u015f\u0131ldama\u011f\u0131 il\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 sanki instrumental klassik musiqi z\u00f6vq\u00fc ya\u015fad\u0131r. Bu g\u00f6z\u0259llikl\u0259rin \u0259hat\u0259sind\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xmaq ist\u0259mir\u0259m. T\u0259bi\u0259tin s\u0259sl\u0259rini obrazl\u0131 olaraq, d\u00fcnyan\u0131n \u0259n g\u00f6z\u0259l q\u0131zlar\u0131na b\u0259nz\u0259ts\u0259k, indiki m\u0259qamda onlar\u0131n i\u00e7\u0259risind\u0259n \u0259n, \u0259n, \u0259n g\u00f6z\u0259li k\u0259nardan axan G\u0259nc\u0259 \u00e7ay\u0131n\u0131n s\u0259si se\u00e7il\u0259rdi. Orda d\u0259f\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 \u00fczs\u0259m d\u0259, o q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259 xo\u015fuma g\u0259lm\u0259mi\u015fdi. N\u0259z\u0259rd\u0259 tutdu\u011fum m\u0259qam qa\u00e7ark\u0259n, k\u0259nardan o \u00e7ay\u0131n s\u0259sini duymaqd\u0131r. T\u0259bi\u0259tin g\u00f6z\u0259lliyi, g\u00fcn\u0259\u015fin \u015f\u00fcalar\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcz\u0259rimd\u0259 g\u0259zi\u015fm\u0259yi v\u0259 qa\u00e7maqdan ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m z\u00f6vql\u0259 b\u0259rab\u0259r \u00e7ay\u0131n s\u0259sini qula\u011f\u0131mda duyma\u011f\u0131m sanki m\u0259niml\u0259 seksd\u0259n h\u0259zz alan qad\u0131n\u0131n ehtirasdan do\u011fan xo\u015f iniltil\u0259ri kimidir. Ara verib, n\u0259f\u0259s al\u0131ram v\u0259 qula\u011f\u0131m\u0131 \u00e7ay\u0131n g\u00f6z\u0259l s\u0259sini daha sakit dinl\u0259yir\u0259m.\n<\/p>\n

\n Ota\u011f\u0131mdak\u0131 telefon s\u0259si m\u0259ni x\u0259yal\u0131mdan oyad\u0131r. Bu q\u0259d\u0259r.. \u00c7ox g\u00f6z\u0259l hissl\u0259r idi.. Telefona cavab vermir\u0259m. H\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m isti v\u0259 xo\u015f x\u0259yal\u0131n t\u0259sirind\u0259y\u0259m. \u00c7\u00f6hr\u0259mi bir az \u00fcz\u00fcnt\u00fc b\u00fcr\u00fcy\u00fcr. \u018fll\u0259rimi g\u00f6zl\u0259rim\u0259 s\u0131x\u0131ram. B\u0259lk\u0259 bu indi yuxudur, m\u0259nim \u0259lil arabas\u0131nda olma\u011f\u0131m. B\u0259lk\u0259, he\u00e7 bir m\u0259hdudiyy\u0259tim- filan yoxdur v\u0259 m\u0259n bir azdan bu r\u00f6yadan oyanacam. Oyanark\u0259n, ilk i\u015fim h\u0259min ba\u011fa gedib, qa\u00e7maq olacaq.\n<\/p>\n

\n \u018fll\u0259rimi g\u00f6zl\u0259rimd\u0259n \u00e7\u0259kir\u0259m.\n<\/p>\n

\n X\u0259yaldan tam ay\u0131ld\u0131m.\n<\/p>\n

\n M\u0259n real h\u0259yatdayam.\n<\/p>\n

\n Ala-qaranl\u0131q ota\u011f\u0131m, m\u0259n v\u0259 \u0259lil arabam.\n<\/p>\n

\n
\n Yaz\u0131dak\u0131 fikirl\u0259r m\u00fc\u0259llif\u0259 m\u0259xsusdur v\u0259 onlara g\u00f6r\u0259 Meydan TV m\u0259suliyy\u0259t da\u015f\u0131m\u0131r.
\n <\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Oyan\u0131ram, real h\u0259yatdayam, \u0259lil arabam…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":22619,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_sitemap_exclude":false,"_sitemap_priority":"","_sitemap_frequency":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[57],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-167536","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-menim-fikrimce","infinite-scroll-item","generate-columns","tablet-grid-50","mobile-grid-100","grid-parent","grid-33","no-featured-image-padding"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nX\u0259yal\u0259n qa\u00e7\u0131ram - MEYDAN.TV<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.meydan.tv\/az\/article\/xeyalen-qaciram\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"az_AZ\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"X\u0259yal\u0259n qa\u00e7\u0131ram - 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