{"id":167164,"date":"2015-03-07T21:44:48","date_gmt":"2015-03-07T21:44:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.meydan.tv\/article\/penceremden-gore-bilmediyim-ulduzlar\/"},"modified":"2015-03-07T21:44:48","modified_gmt":"2015-03-07T21:44:48","slug":"penceremden-gore-bilmediyim-ulduzlar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.meydan.tv\/az\/article\/penceremden-gore-bilmediyim-ulduzlar\/","title":{"rendered":"P\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259md\u0259n g\u00f6r\u0259 bilm\u0259diyim ulduzlar"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n \"\"
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\n Yuxudan a\u011fr\u0131 il\u0259 oyan\u0131ram. Belimd\u0259ki a\u011fr\u0131 art\u0131q bir ild\u0259n \u00e7oxdur, narahat edir. A\u011fr\u0131lara \u00f6yr\u0259nc\u0259liy\u0259m ill\u0259rdir.\u00a0 G\u00f6z\u00fcm q\u0131y\u0131q, p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n s\u0259maya bax\u0131ram. Dan yeri s\u00f6k\u00fclm\u0259k \u00fczr\u0259dir. S\u0259mada t\u0259k-t\u00fck ulduzlar g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259m\u0259yim\u0259 s\u0259b\u0259b olur. G\u00f6zl\u0259rimi tam a\u00e7\u0131ram. Ulduzlar\u0131 g\u00f6rm\u0259k \u00e7ox zaman m\u0259nim q\u0259lbim\u0259 xo\u015f duy\u011fu g\u0259tirir. A\u011fr\u0131 ikinci plana ke\u00e7di art\u0131q. O q\u0259d\u0259r saatlarla uzan\u0131b, s\u0259madak\u0131 ulduzlar\u0131 izl\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m ki… Ehh.. H\u0259tta indi ulduzlar\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcb, \u00a0g\u00f6z\u00fcm ya\u015far\u0131r. Sanki do\u011fma birini g\u00f6r\u0259 bilmirs\u0259n. \u00d6m\u00fcr boyu \u00f6yr\u0259\u015fdiyin biri, indi s\u0259ninl\u0259 \u00e7ox gec-gec g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr. \u00c7ox dar\u0131x\u0131ram onlar \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn.\n<\/p>\n

\n \u0130ndi gec\u0259 d\u0259 olsa, ulduzlar g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u00fcr. \u018fslind\u0259, duy\u011fulanma\u011f\u0131ma s\u0259b\u0259b yeniyetm\u0259lik v\u0259 g\u0259nclik d\u00f6vr\u00fcm\u00fcn xo\u015f xatir\u0259l\u0259rinin indi m\u0259nd\u0259n qism\u0259n uzaqla\u015fma\u011f\u0131na g\u00f6r\u0259dir. \u0130ndi ist\u0259diyim kimi, ist\u0259diyim vaxt s\u0259rb\u0259st uzan\u0131b-durub o ulduzlara doyunca baxa bilmir\u0259m. Havada bir sual u\u00e7u\u015fur: \u201cGuya \u00e7oxunun h\u0259yat\u0131 ist\u0259diyi kimidir?!\u201d\n<\/p>\n

\n Fiziki m\u0259hdudiyy\u0259tim yol vermir. Yata\u011f\u0131m p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259nin yan\u0131ndad\u0131r. Bina evinin 6-c\u0131 m\u0259rt\u0259b\u0259sinin\u00a0 verdiyi imkan\u0131 \u0259lilliyi olan biri kimi, g\u00f6zl\u0259riml\u0259 acg\u00f6zl\u00fckl\u0259 m\u0259nims\u0259yir\u0259m. Qurulu\u015f el\u0259dir ki, birba\u015fa a\u00e7\u0131q balkona girm\u0259y\u0259 imkan\u0131m yoxdur. \u0130ki qat qal\u0131n p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259l\u0259r, aynab\u0259ndin taxtal\u0131-\u015f\u00fc\u015f\u0259li p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259l\u0259ri s\u0259madak\u0131 b\u0259n\u00f6v\u015f\u0259yi-g\u00f6y-qara r\u0259ngl\u0259rin \u0259hat\u0259sind\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259y\u0259n ulduzlarla aram\u0131za girm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r.\n<\/p>\n

\n A\u00e7\u0131q s\u0259madan ulduzlar\u0131 izl\u0259m\u0259k tamam ba\u015fqa al\u0259mdir.\u00a0 Ulduzlara baxanda, ordak\u0131 sivilizasiyalar\u0131 t\u0259s\u0259vv\u00fcr etm\u0259k, susqun halda a\u011f\u0131r-y\u00fcng\u00fcl t\u0259lat\u00fcml\u0259ri ba\u015f\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131xarmaq nec\u0259d\u0259n g\u00f6z\u0259l bir \u015feydir. Bir \u00e7ox hallarda yarad\u0131l\u0131\u015f, f\u0259ls\u0259f\u0259 v\u0259 psixoloji anlay\u0131\u015flar\u0131 beynimd\u0259 analiz etm\u0259yim, t\u0259f\u0259kk\u00fcr\u0259 dal\u0131b, \u00f6z yanl\u0131\u015flar\u0131ma g\u00f6r\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc m\u00fchakim\u0259 etm\u0259yim o g\u00f6z\u0259lim ulduzlara baxanda olub. \u0130nsanlardan bez\u0259nd\u0259, s\u0131x\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259rim n\u0259mli, sakit emosiyalarla ulduzlara p\u0131\u00e7\u0131ldam\u0131\u015fam. \u0130ndi s\u0259ma tam g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u00fcr. Qar\u015f\u0131m\u0131zdak\u0131 bina, \u015fam a\u011fac\u0131, p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259nin \u00e7\u0259r\u00e7iv\u0259l\u0259ri mane olur.\u00a0 Olanlarla yetinir\u0259m, neyl\u0259m\u0259k olar?!\n<\/p>\n

\n Sovetin vaxt\u0131nda in\u015fa edilmi\u015f binalarda \u0259lilliyi olan biri \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00e7ox geni\u015f imkanlar yoxdu. Buna r\u0259\u011fm\u0259n, s\u0259ma q\u0259d\u0259r geni\u015f duy\u011fu v\u0259 hissl\u0259rim m\u0259ni \u00fcz\u00fclm\u0259y\u0259 qoymur. Ya\u015fay\u0131ram. Bu h\u0259yat\u0131 sevir\u0259m. \u0130ndi bu fikirl\u0259rin \u0259hat\u0259sind\u0259n bir az ay\u0131l\u0131ram. \u00c7\u00fcnki ulduz qayd\u0131 g\u00f6yd\u0259. Oyy.. N\u0259c\u0259 valehedici bir \u015feydi bu. Bel\u0259 bir inanc da var ki, ulduz qayanda \u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259 bir arzu dil\u0259s\u0259n, o realla\u015far. Q\u0259lbimd\u0259n \u0259dal\u0259tli c\u0259miyy\u0259td\u0259 ya\u015famaq arzusunu ke\u00e7irdim. \u018fdal\u0259tli deyil ki, \u0259lilliyimin yaratd\u0131\u011f\u0131 normal, fiziki m\u0259hdudiyy\u0259tl\u0259rd\u0259n savay\u0131, s\u00fcni \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 yarad\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bu q\u0259d\u0259r m\u0259hrumiyy\u0259t v\u0259 m\u0259hdudiyy\u0259tl\u0259rl\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131la\u015f\u0131ram.\u00a0 Arzumun yerin\u0259 yet\u0259c\u0259yin\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259kd\u0259n inan\u0131ram!\n<\/p>\n

\n G\u00f6zl\u0259rim m\u0259chul n\u00f6qt\u0259d\u0259 c\u0259ml\u0259\u015fib indi. S\u0131x\u0131nt\u0131lar q\u0259lbimi b\u00fcr\u00fcy\u00fcr. \u0130ndini, ke\u00e7mi\u015fi v\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259yimi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr\u0259m. Yox, m\u0259n g\u00f6z\u0259llikl\u0259ri g\u00f6r\u00fcr\u0259m ax\u0131. S\u0131x\u0131nt\u0131lara q\u0259tiyy\u0259n q\u0259lbimd\u0259 yer yox. Qovuram onlar\u0131. G\u00f6z\u0259lim ulduzlar kimi i\u015f\u0131ql\u0131 \u00fcf\u00fcql\u0259r sa\u00e7\u0131lacaq h\u0259yat yoluma. G\u00f6z\u0259l g\u00fcnl\u0259r g\u00f6r\u0259c\u0259m. S\u0259h\u0259r a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131r yava\u015f-yava\u015f. Ulduzlar qeyb olur. Bir az \u00fcz\u00fcnt\u00fc dolur q\u0259lbim\u0259. H\u0259l\u0259 ham\u0131s\u0131 itm\u0259yib. Bir-ne\u00e7\u0259si \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259yir uzaqdan v\u0259 deyirl\u0259r \u201c\u00dcz\u00fclm\u0259.. Biz s\u0259ni g\u00f6r\u00fcr v\u0259 sevirik, yen\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u0259cik\u201d…\n<\/p>\n

\n Bir anl\u0131q sanki s\u0259maya qalx\u0131r ruhum. \u0130ti s\u00fcr\u0259tl\u0259 ulduzlara t\u0259r\u0259f u\u00e7ur. \u00dcz\u00fcm yen\u0259 g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259yir. G\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259m\u0259k xo\u015f \u0259hval verir m\u0259n\u0259. Ruhum dinc\u0259lir. A\u011fr\u0131m indi \u00e7ox da vecim\u0259 deyil. Yava\u015f s\u0259sl\u0259 \u201cG\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u0259ciyik, \u0259zizl\u0259rim\u201d ifad\u0259sini bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 t\u0259krar edir\u0259m. Hava tam a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131r. Uzaqdan xoruz ban\u0131n\u0131 duyuram. Daha o q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fclm\u00fcr\u0259m. G\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u0259ciyik yen\u0259 ulduzlar\u0131mla, bilir\u0259m.\n<\/p>\n

\n H\u0259yat davam edir. Bizimki d\u0259 bel\u0259 g\u0259tirdi. Bunu na\u015f\u00fck\u00fcrl\u00fck kimi qiym\u0259tl\u0259ndirm\u0259yin. \u00c7ox a\u011f\u0131r durum v\u0259 \u015f\u0259raitd\u0259 olanlar var. B\u0259li, bu t\u0259s\u0259llidir. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr\u0259m, t\u0259s\u0259llisiz ya\u015famaq a\u011f\u0131r olar. B\u0259z\u0259n bu c\u00fcr t\u0259s\u0259llil\u0259r olmasa y\u0259qin ki, d\u0259li olaram. Bunlar \u00e7evr\u0259m\u0259 v\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 ziyans\u0131z t\u0259s\u0259llil\u0259r. \u00c7\u00fcnki onlardan he\u00e7 kim\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fm\u0131ram v\u0259 kim\u0259s\u0259 d\u0259 banal hal alm\u0131\u015f t\u0259s\u0259llil\u0259r verm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015fm\u0131ram. Kims\u0259d\u0259n t\u0259s\u0259lli alma\u011f\u0131 da he\u00e7 sevmir\u0259m. Amma al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fam bel\u0259 \u015feyl\u0259r\u0259. M\u0259n nikbinlik d\u0259ryas\u0131na ba\u015f vurmu\u015fam. Bu s\u0259rh\u0259dsiz v\u0259 g\u00f6z\u0259l d\u0259ryada \u00fczm\u0259kd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xmaq fikrim yoxdur da. A\u00e7\u0131q s\u0259madak\u0131 ulduzlar q\u0259d\u0259r sevgi arzulay\u0131ram siz\u0259. Sevgil\u0259r…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

H\u0259r \u015fey onlarla m\u0259nim arama girib…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":21076,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_sitemap_exclude":false,"_sitemap_priority":"","_sitemap_frequency":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[57],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-167164","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-menim-fikrimce","infinite-scroll-item","generate-columns","tablet-grid-50","mobile-grid-100","grid-parent","grid-33","no-featured-image-padding"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nP\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259md\u0259n g\u00f6r\u0259 bilm\u0259diyim ulduzlar - MEYDAN.TV<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.meydan.tv\/az\/article\/penceremden-gore-bilmediyim-ulduzlar\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"az_AZ\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"P\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259md\u0259n g\u00f6r\u0259 bilm\u0259diyim ulduzlar - 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